Mind Numbing

Sometimes, I wish I had been gifted with MRI-vision so that I could catch a glimpse of what's going with my brain tail. The experts claim that a herniated brain tail can remain in the same spot for years and never move OR it could rapidly descend into the spinal column. The only way to find out is by having a MRI done.

This week I have had increasing numbness in my fingers, hands, arms and face. Maybe I have decreased CSF flow (cerebral spinal fluid)? When I found out that I have an occult tethered cord, the doc told me that my chances of getting a "spinal bubble of doom" (term created by the spinal bubble expert, herself) were increased. So without MRI vision, I really have no way of knowing what's going on inside my spine ~ but I do know that things are a changing.

Ever feel like someone sent you out to the end of the dock to wait for the next boat to pick you up? You sit there ~ hang you legs off the edge ~ take in the tranquil scenery ~ you feel at peace knowing that you are in transition. The next leg of your journey is about to begin ~ you have a sense of accomplishment, because you know what the next step is and where you are going. Then you notice that several hours have passed ~ you look around and there is no one in site ~ just you, the dock and the water. No boats on the water~ the sun is slowly sinking into the horizon ~ you get a clutch in the pit of your stomach. It is then that you realize that you are all alone ~ What do you do? Panic ~ yell ~ call out for help? Or do you take a deep breath, steady your racing heart and just breathe and enjoy the calm and stillness of the moment ~ knowing that the boat will come ~ when the timing is right.