Learn Something New Each Day

Just when you thought you knew everything ~

Tunnel Vision

The last couple of days I have been struck with a tidal wave of emotions ~ I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to do next. I have been on the defensive ~ pleading my case ~ explaining myself to an endless stream of brain docrtors ~ with TCI as my goal all along. I should feel immense relief that there is light at the end of the tunnel ~ that I will be on the road to recovery soon ~ and still I am surrounded by doubt ~ fear ~ struggle! Like a thick fog has decended and shows no sign of lifting. At least I know that I am human!

So ~ the call came in yesterday ~ the surgical scheduler called to give me a surgery date. I totally expected that it would be a good two months down the road, but what I wasn't expecting was two surgery dates ~ almost a month apart. February 1st will be my tethered cord surgery and then on March 7th the decompression ~ yikes!

If there is anyone out there who has gone through the tethered cord surgery ~ I would love to hear what your experience was like ~ this is the surgery that has me rattled the most because of the aloofness of the invisible problem! I am especially interested in those of you that had the occult tethered cord and when they did the surgery there was no doubt that there was some strong tethering going on in there!

Somewhere inside I am relieved to have a date to focus on ~ I can continue to mentally prepare myself for this next journey ~ so weird that on the other side of these surgeries will be "my life after brain surgery" ~ I am praying for a peace that passes all understanding to settle in. I keep having an inner struggle that tells me that I am crazy for insisting of surgery ~ but then again ~I know that God has been here with me every step along the way ~ He is sparing me from permanent damage by doing the procedures now and not waiting ~ His timing is perfect ~ I just have to keep reminding myself of this! Voice of truth speak loud and clear ~

Wisdom From A Turtle

I went on a walk/run yesterday after work ~ the air was crisp, the sun was shining, a hint of fall was in the air. I had been super dizzy and off-balance all day and expected that going on a walk would prove to be challenging. As I began my trek I noticed that my legs felt like bags of concrete, it felt like I was wading through quicksand! Getting through my workout was going to take a while.

As I was stumbling along the trail, I noticed something up ahead that looked out of place ~ right in the middle of the path. It looked like a rock, but as I got closer, I saw that the rock had a head, arms, legs and a tiny tail. I stopped and crouched down to inspect the baby turtle ~ he was cute and wasn't moving a muscle. I patted the little guy on the top of his shell and bid him Godspeed on his journey. I said a little prayer for him that he was able to safely cross the path before a cyclist came zipping down the trail. I had high hopes that I might see him again on my return trip, but he was gone.

The Native Americans believe that the turtle represents nurturing, mother energy, survival, longevity, protection, healing, patient persistence, the keeper of doors, the art of grounding and knowledge. Turtles encourage us to go with the flow ~ they teach us to enjoy the journey we are on without rushing the pace. They teach us to take things slow and be patient in attaining our goals. Turtles show us new perceptions about time and our relationship with it.

Once again ~ message received and yet such a hard message to digest! This week has crawled along at a painful pace. Waiting for a phone call from my PCP referral's office so that I know when the appointment with my newest surgeon will be. I have called them 2 times this week already and am considering calling them again today to see what's taking them so long. Ergo ~ the message of the turtle ~ go with the flow ~ see the forest. Now if I could just get a giraffe to cross my path I would be a happy camper. Symbolism wise, giraffes are all about attaining the unreachable.

Somewhere Down the Road

Somewhere Down the Road ~ Amy Grant

So much pain and no good reason why

You’ve cried until the tears run dry

And nothing else can make you understand

The one thing that you held so dear

Is slipping from your hand

And you say

Why, why, why

Does it go this way

Why, why, why

And all I can say

Somewhere down the road

There’ll be answers to the questions

Somewhere down the road

Tho we cannot see it now

And somewhere down the road

You will find mighty arms reaching for you

And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Yesterday I thought Id seen it all

I thought I'd climbed the highest wall

Now I see the learning never ends

And all I know to do is keep on walking

Walking round the bend singing

Why, why, why

Does it go this way

Why, why, why

And all I can say somewhere down the road

There’ll be answers to the questions

Somewhere down the road

Tho we cannot see it now

And somewhere down the road

You will find mighty arms reaching for you

And they will hold the answers at the end of the road