Monday, August 10, 2009

Having One of Those Days

Today was a day when I wanted to cover my eyes and make the world just disappear ~ transporting me to another time and place. Where is that FRINGE elevator anyway? Mondays are hard for most people, but when you heap on an extra helping of stress first thing in the morning it makes getting through the day all the more challenging.

Even with heavy laden shoulders, there were bits and pieces of great news that I received ~ A month after I mailed a package off to a friend doing tribal mission work over seas, the package finally arrived. Must have gone via yak train ~ and the best part was that all the contents arrived with no pilfering. In an age of instant messaging, twittering (still haven't found a need to twitter my life away even though I have had a Twitter account for a year now), texting and emails it's reassuring to know that the postal system still works!  

Also ~ in a day and age when people with extensive medical issues (like me) face mountains of  medical bills to pay and frequent surly letters from insurance companies ~ I actually received a CHECK from my hospital ~ refunding money to me for paying too much ~ SERIOUSLY? So ~ a lil bit of good news has presently lifted my spirits enough to muster up enough strength in my completely drained body to get out there and coach cheerleading for 2 hours tonight.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

PAIN Is Weakness Leaving the Body

Pain is Weakness Leaving Your Body - Nietzsche

Brain surgery isn't 100% successful ~ I knew the odds going into my decompression. Honestly, I didn't expect a 100% recovery.  After all, I still have cranial settling ~ I can't remember the exact weight it took to lift my head off my spine before I felt relief during my invasive cervical traction, but it was over 20lbs.  Coming to terms with the fact that my brain tail will always be with me is a tough fact to digest.

I'm not sharing this with you in any way to get the sympathy vote ~ just sharing what's on my heart. Yesterday I woke up feeling like I had been mowed over by a dump truck ~ an all familiar feeling that I hadn't felt really since my surgery. As I was waiting for the effects of my first cup of coffee to take effect I made a mental note ~ warning alarms going off in my mine ~ this just might be one of those days when a chiari headache totally hijacks my body. So later in the day when I could feel that fullness feeling at the base of my head I knew it would only be a matter of hours before I had to lie down in a dark/quiet room. 

Believe me, I fought the headache with every ounce of energy. I sufficiently hydrated myself, tried not to bend over at all, no cardio workouts ~ I mostly spent most of the day doing a thousand loads of the girl's camp laundry. Then, around suppertime, in the middle of preparing dinner, I suddenly had to stop what I was doing and lay down on the couch. The nausea had set in and the pounding in my head reduced me to tears. An hour after I had taken my high powered migraine meds the headache was still going strong, so I decided to throw in the towel and go to be for this night.  

I am praying that these types of episodes will be few and far between.  More than anything, it's just so discouraging to know that brain surgery hasn't made me exempt to chiari headaches. *sigh* .  With that said ~ I truck load of weakness left my body yesterday ~ looking forward to a stronger me in the upcoming days. There is no cure for chiari yet ~ keeping the faith for a cure/procedure to rid all of us chiarians from headaches for life!