Showing posts with label light. Show all posts
Showing posts with label light. Show all posts

Monday, September 2, 2013

Defenses Against The Dark Arts


Texas skies ~ I think miles and miles of blue skies covered with billowy clouds ~ or beautiful sunsets painted with brilliant pinks, oranges and reds. This photo was taken by my Mom shortly after touching down on Texas soil. Hauntingly beautiful it is. Enveloped me completely ~really. 

I don't know how to explain it but the color BLUE has been coming up more and more in my life. Blue reminds me of water and sky ~ this blue is very inky and seems to hold many treasured secrets. Reminds me of a section in Brene Brown's book ~ Daring Greatly ~ If you want to read the whole piece ~ click on this link ~ otherwise ~ here's my favorite passages about shame and Harry Potter:
 Sirius told Harry to listen to him very carefully, then he said, 
 ‘You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.’”
“We all have shame. We all have good and bad, dark and light, inside of us. But if we don’t come to terms with our shame, our struggles, we start believing that there’s something wrong with us – that we’re bad, flawed, not good enough – and even worse, we start acting on those beliefs. If we want to be fully engaged, to be connected, we have to be vulnerable. In order to be vulnerable, we need to develop resilience to shame.”
Reading this was a good wake up call for me to embrace the dark and the light ~ they are both a part of who we are ~ what do the dark, inky night skies tell you?

Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Light Shines in the Dark

I recently took some time out of my busy work week to spend the night at a quiet, remote retreat center. After the sun set and darkness enveloped me I was greeted by a host of busy fireflies. Never in my life have I seen such brilliantly lit creatures. Perhaps they have upgraded their bulbs to LED lights?

Fireflies have always captivated and fascinated me. They have always reminded me of fairies and heavenly spirits. Amazing to me how much light they create and yet they are so small. Since nature speaks to my heart, this is what I found about fireflies showing up in my life ~ May you have some firefly visitors this summer, too.


For those to whom the firefly appears, it is time to trust in your own rhythms--physical and spiritual. Our hopes will begin to manifest, and our ability o inspire will grow. Fireflies remind us that there are others who will respond to us and who are like us. They flash with similar creative rhythms. They will make their presence known soon, and they will make our life more creative and healthier.

Fireflies generate light without heat, a process of chemistry and physics that is still baffling to science. Whereas most electric bulbs waste 97% of their energy in heat, a firefly concentrates 90% of it's effort into light. The glow emerging from so tiny an animal is sufficient to read a printed page, reflecting wonderful opportunities to make the seemingly impossible a reality, inspiring wonders that will be flickering and manifesting around us.

When the firefly appears is a wonderful time to jot down all of those creative ideas that are flickering in our mind through this time. We needn't worry about what to do with them now, for just by taking them out of the mental realm, their creative force is released into our life and they will provide inspiration that will affect us for a long time in the future.


The firefly looks ordinary during the day, but by night they sparkle, flickering like a star. They hold the promise of accomplishing our goals. Spiritual gifts are awakening. We are on the right path, and there are strong spiritual forces around us. When fireflies appear, people begin to reassess their former opinions and perspectives. We begin to shine and sparkle. Opportunities to fulfill dreams, to inspire wonder, and to awaken greater hope will begin to flicker strongly within our life.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I WANT TO BELIEVE

Several weeks have passed since I drove three hours to watch I WANT TO BELIEVE with my sweet, uber X-Files nerdling friend, Erica. She posted her review of the movie last week ~ brillance, I tell you ~ I can't even aspire to match her post ~ so if you care to read it ~ click on this link. I had expectations of this highly anticipated movie, but I knew that no matter what I would absolutely love the big screen reunion of Mulder and Scully.
I became an X-Files believer quite by accident. It was a Sunday night, we had invited some college friends over for dinner. They had great concern about what time exactly we were eating dinner ~ a hidden agenda was highly suspect. After a little prodding we found out that the X-Files season 3 finale was on TV that night. At the time we had never watched the show. After our friends shared their enthusiasm for the X-Files we agreed to eat dinner early so that we could fully devote our undivided attention to the finale episode together. Needless to say, we were hooked with just one introduction to Mulder and Scully.
I remember going through XF withdrawals for a long time after the show ended. I missed the Mulder and Scully weekly banter, quirky Mulderisms, their incredibly deep soul connection with one another. The government conspiracies, UFO and alien chasing plots were entertaining, but the ones that most spoke to me were the plots where Mulder and Scully were searching their hearts for the truths in life. Journeying to those dark places to bring forth light.

The movie had a lot of great shout outs to the fans ~ pencils stuck in the ceiling, sunflower seeds, Scully's cross necklace and many more. I loved the fact that Mulder and Scully didn't have everything figured out yet ~ we found them still struggling with the truths, but doing it together.
This quote from the movie is what it's all about ~

What an incredible truth that is ~ there will always be the darkness, but it's our mission to shine the light. I think that Mulder is drawn to the dark places, because in the inkiness of night his light shines brighter ~ it brings his life force to life! Another famous quote comes to mind when I think of lighting up the darkness ~

Galadriel: I give you the light of EƤrendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

On a lighter note, the Skin-Man cameo was awesome ~ if only the Lone Gunman could have made an appearance ~ maybe in the next one! So for now, I will patiently wait for the movie to come out on DVD so I can watch the movie again and again.


X-Files I want to Believe (2008 Film Score)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Illumination


The other day I was organizing some books in my bedroom and I re-discovered a journal entry that I had made after a breath work back in August of 2006. You can read more about what a breathwork is about in by clicking the underlined linked text ~ but basically it is a way of meditating deeply by taking in deep breaths which creates a dreamlike altered state. I have done several breathworks and each time I have breathed it has brought clarity and healing into my life. The last breathwork experience I had was full of profound messages that I stored away for another time. At the time I didn't know what the messages meant, but now, the messages bring illumination.

I won't go in great detail on my experience, but will share with you some of the profound messages I received. I am going to set up the scene ~ keep in mind that the breathwork is very dreamlike. My journey started out with me running across a desert somewhere in Africa. I was methodically running for a long time, across great distances all by myself. No fear ~ no pain ~ just a growing anticipation of where my journey would lead me.

Finally, I came to a circle of people holding hands ~ the circle opened and they let me inside. A pastor that I know who lives in Africa was there and he had a message for me. Words of wisdom followed ~ I was overwhelmed with tears as the words came to my ears ~

HEAL THE BROKEN HEARTED
LOVE WITHOUT CEASING
FOLLOW YOUR VISIONS
GIVE HOPE TO THE HOPELESS
GIVE FAITH TO THE FAITHLESS

The messages went on and on. I cried out,
"I am so small and only one person! How can I possibly help all of these souls?"
The answer was clear,
"You are strong, help one person at a time and don't ever give up!"
Such a daunting task, but I was fully aware that, yes, this was my calling.

These messages came to me probably in the first 15 minutes of my breathwork and 2 hours later I remembered everything I had heard word for word. Keep in mind that about a month later I found out about my Chiari Malformation. I was on the edge of a journey that would radically change the course of my life journey ~ what a journey it has been and it's far from over.

I have been incredibly illuminated by the messages I received two years ago ~ new life has been breathed into me and once again my mission is clear. I feel a profound calling to help those in need ~ to shed light into the dark corners in this big, bad Chiari journey. Clearly I am just one person in a sea of millions, but I want to help make the road a little less daunting for others that will find themselves on this journey. Thanks so much to you blog lurkers who have commented and sent me e-mails ~ you have given me validation that what I write is encouraging and helpful. Those of you who lurk and haven't reached out to me, know that I am just an e-mail away.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Shadow and Light ~ Side By Side

The last couple of days have really been challenging for my brain to figure out where I am. According to the calendar, I was scheduled for my brain decompression yesterday and yet I wasn't there, I was home. I am thankful for answered prayers ~ for evading brain surgery for now, but still feel like I am waiting for that second shoe to fall. The facts are that I still have my brain tail and I just have to be aware of my symptoms.

For the most part, I am pretty symptom free, but this week I have had an occasional Chiari headache ~ not unbearable ones ~ but back of the head headaches. This past week I was probably the most active I have been since my detethering. I walked at least 4 times this week for an hour at a time and have been working out on pully machines at the gym to gain strength in my back.

On my walk on Thursday morning, the sun was shining brightly. As I was walking, with my back towards the sun, I noticed my shadow ahead of me. She was keeping time with my pace, but always ahead of me. Reminded me that shadows are evidence of sun. When I turned around to walk back towards the car my face was illuminated by sun rays ~ no more shadows ~ amazing how the sun can be just an one-hundred-eighty degree turn away!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Compassion


Compassion: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Compassion is a feeling deep within ourselves —a "quivering of the heart" — and it is also a way of acting — being affected by the suffering of others and moving on their behalf.

"Compassion is not sentiment but is making justice and doing works of mercy. Compassion is not a moral commandment but a flow and overflow of the fullest human and divine energies." --Matthew Fox

*************************************************************************************
I went to my doctor's appointment this morning with a sense of peace ~ to HIM, the future is already history ~ This is my journey, but I won't be given more than I can handle ~ it's not going to be easy ~ I knew that when I committed to letting Jesus direct my life. Sometimes I get so distracted and loose site of the steady horizon.

Second opinion surgeon came into the exam room, looked my in the eye, and asked me what I needed for him to do so that I could go ahead and get my surgeries taken care of. He told me he doesn't do the tethered cord surgery, but said that he would write a good letter stating that TCI needed to take care of all of my surgeries. He totally understands the connection between the brain and the spine and he reiterated that I need to go ahead and get this taken care of, NOW! He told me he was going to write 2 separate letters for me, one for the decompression and one for TC. They will be ready for me to pick them up next week.

What an answered prayer ~ and thank God for a compassionate doctor!

Straight Ahead

Day by day, dream by dream
I fight to find the way to go
Every day opens a different door
Every dream shadows the one before
But slowly I can see the way You've made for me

[Chorus:]
Straight ahead I can see your light
Straight ahead through the dark
Straight ahead there's no left or right
Straight ahead to your heart

Carry on through the night
When the road is hard to find
Lying lights tell me to turn around
Lying thoughts tell me I'm lost not found
But feeling I can see You're waiting there for me

[Chorus]

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Every Shadow Is Evidence Of Sun

Mother Teresa is quoted saying:

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

Sunrise ~ Nichole Nordeman

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…

(Chours)
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

(Chours)

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

(Chours)

You are sunrise

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Turned My Darkness Into Light

All is forgiven ~ humbles me to no end ~ Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west ~turn my darkness into light ~ can't live by what I feel ~ I'm not holding onto you ~ you are holding onto me ~

East to West
by: Casting Crowns




Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know You’ve cast my sin as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before You now
As though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the East is from the West?
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
Cause You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I know You’ve washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
And I’m not holding onto You
But You’re holding onto me
You’re holding onto me

Jesus, You know just how far the East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest (mercy I find rest)
You know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

(Just how far, the East is from the West, Just how far)
From one scarred hand to the other
(You know just how far, the East is from the West, Just how far)
From one scarred hand to the other

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Ray of Light

Matthew 5:14
“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.

"I wanna be in the light
as you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars
in the Heavens
Oh, Lord be my light
and be my Salvation
'cause all I want is to be in the light." ~ DC Talk

This morning, I looked out the back window noticed that there were men in hard hats walking around in my back yard! I knew that they were coming, I just didn't know the exact day and time. The power company was cutting tree branches away from the power lines ~ preventative maintenance ~ protecting us and our house from any power outages or fires. And an extra perk ~ by cutting away harmful branches, we now have more light in the backyard!

Is it just me or is the symbolism so thick that it doesn't need any explaining! An expected event at an unexpected time ~ Cutting away things that are in the wrong place to prevent further damage ~ Light restored to a place that had fallen into shadow. I am taking this as a good sign of life restored at the most unexpected moment.