Saturday, November 28, 2009

NCB ~ Simply ~ The BEST

Our North Colonie Pee Wee Large cheer team competed at the Eastern Regional competition last weekend in Trenton, NY. Our cars were covered in shoe polish with NORTH COLONIE BISON. The top two teams go on to compete at the National level in Florida, Walt Disney World. Last year we missed going to Nationals by TWO points.
After the NY competitions were done we had three weeks to totally re-choreographed our routine to kick it up a notch so that we would have a shot at placing in the top two.. We threw in one legged stunts ~ liberties, arabesques and a heal stretch. Practices were long and tiring, but the girls rose above all the sicknesses that plagued our squad and made it work.
When it came time for us to take the floor and practice one last time before performing ~ confidence was shaken to the core for Hannah. The noise level in the arena was high ~ the girls couldn't even hear us shouting out the eight counts to walk through their routine. For whatever reason Hannah's stunt group didn't get her up and there wasn't a second chance to practice again. Our team was ushered off the practice mats and we got in line to perform. Emotions were running high ~ there was electricity in the air with anticipation of performing our 2:30 minute cheer/dance.
Us coaches were getting the girls pumped up ~ wishing them good luck and getting ready to say goodbye to them before their performance. I glanced over at Hannah and saw her tear streaked face ~ she was totally devastated ~ she was shaken and I had to find a way to get her past defeat and focused on the huge task at hand. She is a flyer this year and goes up in the air a couple of times during the routine. If her confidence didn't come back and quickly it would have spelled disaster for the routine.
I rushed over to embrace her ~ looked in her red eyes and told her she was going to nail her performance ~ shake off the feeling of inadequacy and make it work. I stepped away from her to let the other coaches swoop in to boost her up, too. She got the water works flowing for me and I had to turn away to hide my tears from the rest of the team. We said goodbye and took our places in the tunnel where the coaches wait until our team takes the floor. What a nerve wracking 30+ minutes we waited!
When our NC Bison took the floor we were ushered to the coaches box to watch them perform. We all held hands tightly ~ my heart was beating a million beats a second ~ I said another prayer ~ took a deep breath and waited for them to begin. When our girls spirited onto the floor I could see their smiles and their energy was bubbly ~ they had taken the floor to give it their all and they were happy! Their performance was flawless ~ not one bobble ~ all the stunts went up ~ what an answer to prayer. When they were done we all leaped to our feet ~ screaming ~ jumping up and down. Our girls had given it their all ~ and now we waited for the results.
Truthfully, I didn't even want to watch the other teams compete. We had done our best and our fate was in the hands of the judges. When all the teams took the floor for the awards ceremony I had high hopes that we would place,but had no idea if we had done well enough to go to Nationals. When they announced our team as the THIRD PLACE winners it was bittersweet ~ yeah we missed the coveted second and first place, but we had competed with a tough competition. There were tears of disappointment, but by the time we left the arena our girls filed out with smiles on their faces and heads held high.
Not until a couple of days later did we find out what the other team's scores were ~ that's when our third place win became even more bittersweet ~ we missed Disney by one third of a point!! That's 0.333333333 ~ Last year we came in FOURTH ~ this year THIRD ~ next year ~ DISNEY.

It's the Climb

Often, I get swept away in the flurry of activity in my life ~ it helps me to not focus so much on the tireless climbing. Chiari never takes a vacation ~ the brain tail might sleep in late after a full day of inflicting pain, but awakes soon enough. In light of our cheer competition last weekend (that's another post) it's hit home more than ever that life is all about the climb.
Living with Chiari is a climb, but along the way lives have been touched ~ healing is going on all around us. I am trying to re-focus and stop looking behind at the past and ahead at the future and stay in the moment ~ the now ~ the ground beneath me. Won't you join me?
THE CLIMB ~ Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreamin but,

there's a voice inside my head saying, you'll never reach it.

every step I'm taking every move I make feels lost with no direction, my faith is shaking,

but I, I gotta keep trying I gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle and sometimes I'm gonna have to lose it

ain't about how fast I get there ain't about what's waiting on the other side

its the climb

The struggles I'm facing
the chances I'm taking
sometimes might knock me down but
no I'm not breaking

I may not know it but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most yeah just gotta keep going and I
got be strong gotta keep on pushing on cuz

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle sometimes

I'm gonna have to lose ain't about how fast I get there

ain't about whats waiting on the other side

its the climb

keep on moving keep climbing

keep the faith babe

its all about its all about the climb

keep the faith keep your faith

Friday, November 13, 2009

I Can Only Imagine

Blogging has been a way for me to express what I cannot vocalize and I am trying to get back in the swing of things by blogging more. As my one year post decompression date is beginning to appear just over the horizon I seem to be doing a lot of reflecting. There were a lot of blogs that I started and they ended up in my draft box. This one I actually started on 10/12/07 ~ I thought today would be a good day finally post it.

Facing fear ~ staring it in the face ~ thoughts of death and dying have come up for me, for obvious reasons. But you see, to die would be devastating for my family and friends, but for me, I can only imagine.

When I wrote my thoughts about staring death in the face, I hadn't even been detethered yet ~ but I was processing the imminent fear that comes when facing brain surgery. I look back and smile knowing that putting it all out there, expressing my fear, laying it all down for the Lord to take it from me ~ my fear was totally dissolved by the time I had surgery.

WE all face fear on a daily basis ~ rather it's a fear of spiders or death ~ we all deal with it in different ways. For me, fixing my eyes on eternity put everything in perspective and it's a good reminder for me today. I woke up with a brain tail headache ~ it's the 13th and a Friday today ~ not that I am superstitious, but I am not firing on all cylinders today. Note to self ~ no operating heavy machinery today!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Open Minded ~

Any FRINGE fans out there? Did I mention that last year FRINGE became on of my most favorite new shows. I find it ironic every time someone mentions the words 'open minded' in reference to me ~ seriously have the brain on my mind 24-7. Brain surgery ~ check ~ I am coming up on my one year anniversary since my new birthday (brain decompression 12/3/08). That day certainly was a milestone in this journey we call life, but as I am finding to be more and more true these days ~ you can't blaze past brain surgery and think that everything will go back to normal ~ whatever normal is to you.
Check Spelling
Brain surgery has changed me on so many levels ~ unexplainable things have been happening ~ maybe that's why I can totally identify and relate with the plot of FRINGE ~ nothings too far fetched when it comes to the capability of the mind. Expect the unexpected and the unimaginable to happen on a daily basis and roll with it.