Tuesday, June 30, 2009

First Encounter Sunset

For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

I took this picture a couple of years ago while on the First Encounter beach at sunset ~ I am in awe of the sunsets that our creator paints for us! What a gentle reminder to keep making plans for the future ~ as long as I am breathing and still on this planet I know that He has plans for me ~

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Keeping the Faith

I am reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and I just came across a brilliantly written paragraph about terror. In light of the TCI ongoing investigation this really hit home and explains the ripple effect of terror.
"'Terrorism', the professor had lectured, 'has a singular goal. What is it?' ...'To cause terror?'
'Concisely put. Quite simply, the goal of terrorism is to create terror and fear. Fear undermines faith in the establishment. It weakens the enemy from within...causing unrest in the masses. Write this down. Terrorism is not an expression of rage. Terrorism is a political weapon. Remove a government's facade of infallibility, and you remove it's people's faith.' Loss of faith..."
Life continues to teach me many hard lessons ~ some numerous times ~ life is hard ~ the good guys don't always win ~ nothing is fair ~ pain comes from living a full life ~ there is good and evil in all situations. I thought that maybe after surviving brain surgery that I would be exempt from anymore hardships ~ clearly I had a delusional moment ~ but it's OK ~ I still have a lot of living to do and a lot to learn.

This post might seem a little cryptic, but I am sorting out something in my head. I have really had to sit and simmer for a while ~ remove myself from an emotional tornado ~ the mama bear in me wants to spring forth and play the protector. Faith has been completely shattered for many and getting that trust back is a slow and long process. I am so thankful that I am where I am in my chiari journey so that I have a clarity that comes from stepping out in faith and entrusting my life to brilliant neurosurgeons.

~Sigh~ How do I find the strength to continue to do my part to infuse the chiari community with a renewed hope and faith in surgeons who heal? One breath at a time ~ one baby step at a time. Living with Chiari is a moment by moment struggle ~ a lifelong battle ~ but there is so much more to life than living and dying. As long as I am breathing I will continue to encourage those of you who need someone to cheer you along in your journey ~ you are never alone! Finding joy and a peace that passes all understanding ~

If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Medium is one of my favorite shows ~ last night's season finale really got my attention when the episode focused on Allison's deteriorating mental/physical health. **SPOILER ALERT** Allison collapsed at the office one day and when they ran some tests on her they found a rapidly growing tumor on her brain stem. Ooo MRI's of Allison's brain ~ I perked right up straining to see if she has a brain tail. Do any other loyal viewers out there remember a Medium episode early on in the series where it was found that Allison and all three of her girls share the same type of brain malformation? It's been driving me nuts, because I can't recall what they found but my hunch is it has something to do with chiari.

Anyway ~ the doctor was discussing surgical options with Allison and her prognosis with the newly found tumor in her brain. They must operate immediately as the tumor was growing fast and if they didn't operate and take it out it would cause her brain to herniate ~ GASP! The doctor went on to explain the urgency of the need for surgery as herniation of the brain can cause paralysis even death! GASP again ~ I wish I had found her doc when I was diagnosed with my brain tail. It seems that the local docs don't think a brain herniation of 17mm is anything that serious!

Here's a question for you brain tails out there ~ has having a brain tail made you more extra sensitive to things that are unseen ~ thoughts that are not spoken? I completely identify with Allison from Medium ~ not to that degree, but it can really make me feel like I am not from this planet sometimes. Maybe it's the hernation or the extra room now in the back of my head that makes me more sensitive ~ thoughts ~ anyone?