Sunday, September 25, 2011

Peter/Olivia

What would life be like without your presence in the lives of others? The fourth season of FRINGE is centered around a world without Peter Bishop ~ I get it, this is part of the bigger story ~ but that doesn't mean I like it one little bit!

Actually, I've thought a lot about this theme ever since I was diagnosed with Chiari ~ what would life be like without me on this earth anymore? The concept is a hard one to embrace too closely without letting it consume me whole. I have a questions for other Chiarians and other assorted brain surgery survivors.

How did you cope with the overwhelming feeling that you just might not make it back from brain surgery?

 I used to think that I was really good at coping, pushing through very difficult times, but now I'm not so sure. The physical scars, although healed up nicely, will always remain on my skin as constant reminders of the battles I have survived. Now, almost three years post brain surgery, the emotional scars are bubbling up to the surface. Sure, I survived, I'm living, breathing, carrying on at the thing we called life...but at what cost?

I'm not the same person today that I was prior to my Chiari diagnosis. On that profound day,
September 26, 2006, I think I built an instant fortress around myself ~ guarding my emotions, protecting my heart.  I think a big part of me wants to walk away from everything prior to surgery and start a new.

The surgeons prepared me for the physical pain I would endure, the long recovery road, but they didn't prepare me for a total fall out of who I am and who I am becoming. This is probably totally gibberish to most readers out there, but I have a feeling a bunch of you know exactly what I am talking about.



Thursday, September 15, 2011

Letting Go and Taking the Leap

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
Joseph Campbell

I watched this trailer this week and it inspired me and gave me hope ~ I hope it does the same for you.

Finding Joe


Finding Joe - Trailer V.7 from pat solomon on Vimeo.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Meant to Be

I've strayed way of course lately ~ seemingly drowning in a vortex of the unknown ~ and then I heard the lyrics to this song ~ a quiet, strong reminder that I am meant to be here on this earth ~ sharing my gifts ~ I am part of  greater plan. I hope this song speaks to you, too.



Long Before You Drew Your First Breath 
A Dream Was Coming True 

God Wanted to Give A Gift To The World 
So He Wrapped It Up In You 

Every Step That You've Taken 
Every Move That You Make 
Is Part Of His Plan 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be 
You Were Meant To Be 

Long Before You Took Your First Fall 
You stumbled to the ground 
God started telling the story of you to the angles around 
Every failure and victory 
Everything inbetween 
Its all in his hand 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
SOURCE: LYBIO.NET 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
Meant To Be 
You are 
You are 
You are meant to be 
You are 
You are 
You are meant to be 

For every breath that your taking 
And every move that you make 
It's a meaningful life you've been given 
Live it well 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be 
To Be 
You Were Meant To Be