Thursday, November 1, 2007

You Are A Pain In The Neck!

Dearest Brain Tail,

It has been lovely getting to know you so intimately over the past year. Your photo shoots have been stunning. The light from the MRI machines makes you look ten years younger. Even though you are family, twice removed on my mother's side and kissing cousin to the medulla oblongata family, I feel like it's time we had a heart to heart talk.

When you discovered the secret passage way through the foramen magnum and decided to move your stuff into my spinal column, what WERE you thinking? I know the space just oozed with spinal fluid goodness, but seriously, did you think I wasn't going to notice? When you bang on your drum set it gives me a pounding headache. Your frat parties are so wild that they make me stumble around like a drunk sailor who just got off the scrambler ride at the carnival! How exactly am I supposed to explain that to a police officer? Got any brilliant ideas Einstein??? I feel like I am losing my mind!

Quite frankly, you are a pain in the neck, true story! My buddy the spinal cord doesn't really enjoy your company. He's quite the introvert and needs his own personal space. When you irritate him, he sends electrical shocks up and down my arms to get my attention. He thinks he's being subtle, but believe me, I get his messages loud and clear. The whole roomie thing is not going to work out. I have been worried sick and have had insomnia over this whole situation.

Truth be known, I like you, you are kin, but you have got to move your carcass back into the skull ~ that's where you belong. It's only a matter of time before a surgeon comes in and evicts you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's your choice. Either way, it's going to hurt like hell. It's possible you could get burned from this relationship and never be the same again. We will do our best to expand the space so you won't feel so crowded anymore. So, yeah, you are going to have to move out. I have dreams and plans and I am done dealing with your adolescent behavior ~ I am so over it! I am taking my life back!

1 comment:

TheStolenOlive said...

Absolute best post ever... I couldn't have said it better myself.

I've been sort of over the blogging thing lately. Or more accurately, over my life in general. The death of my Nana sure put a kink in everything.

I had actually gotten to a point where there was some relief to the daily pain, but its all back again. I can't get into see my neurologist until December 4th and I'm pretty much out of options on the neurosurgeon side.

I read every post you put up, on GoogleReader... I've just been HORRIBLE about commenting. Please forgive.