Epic Battles

It was bound to happen ~ the growing turmoil in my mind and body has given way to epic battles. (LOTR nerdling flag waving high!) Think Balrogs, trolls, fell beasts and Uruk-hai with no sight of Ents, Elves or Wizards to come to the rescue. Lots of warfare ~ internally ~ emotionally and physically ~ the time gap between now and surgery dates is getting smaller each second.

Before the appeal was overturned the enemy was the insurance company ~ something outside of myself ~ and now I am finding turmoil within myself. On a daily basis I am fighting back fear, doubt and more fear. I know that fear does not come from God:

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Timothy 1: 7

It is the Lord Who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit--depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm]. Deuteronomy 31: 8

I have been surprised by all of the spiritual warfare going on in my mind ~ casting doubt on the TRUTHS of the Bible ~ trying to take my focus away from the Lord. I am gently reminded to dig into the Word of God ~ put on the 'full armor of the Lord'. Although I do not understand why I must take this path of hardship ~ I know that all things work together for good for those who know and love God.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28