Friday, December 14, 2007

Absence of Fear

Life is always throwing me something totally unexpected. On Thursday we had a snow storm blow in around 11am. Needless to say I was not looking forward to the long drive home. It usually takes me about 25 minutes to drive to work so I knew it would take me at least an hour to get home.

My first real experience with driving in winter weather was my senior year in college in West Texas. The weather there can change rapidly from sunny and warm to cold and icy. I got into an accident on black ice one night as I came upon a couple of cars that had already crashed. My options were limited ~ I could put on my breaks and hope to God I didn't hit the car that was rapidly getting closer or I could swerve and head into oncoming traffic. The wreck wasn't all that bad, I barely tapped the bumper of the car in front of me, but the out of control, sliding on black ice feeling has always stayed with me.

That being said, when the roads are slippery and if I slide just a little bit I am instantly covered with an overwhelming blanket of fear. So, getting back to my point, I was completely taken by surprise as I took note of how I was feeling while driving home in snow covered streets last night. I was completely calm, relaxed, just another drive home ~ slow ~ but not a big deal. This really took me by surprise and then I realized that fear is relative. Compared to brain surgery, I drive in the snow and ice is not such a foreboding task anymore.


Caroline said...

That's so true isn't it. It's all relative. When you are facing upcoming brain surgery what's a little snow.

that's what convinced me to start blogging too. I was afraid too for the longest time-afraid to open myself up to public scrutiny of my thoughts and feelings but I finally thought when you are facing the life and death struggles that we are why not take a few risks in life! And it turns out blogging has been a true blessing. It' like free therapy :) and I've met you and a lot of other wonderful people.

I'm glad you got home safely



Queli said...

okay, I was thinking well ofcourse she wasn't afraid...once you hear the words "brain surgery" associated with yourself, other things don't seem as big....then you said it.
too funny.
that's one thing Chiari gives us...leverage against other fears :)