During my life journey, I have moments of feeling like the walls are closing in on me ~ much like this picture. There is only one way through ~ no where to turn ~ the walls are high on both sides. Extreme focus is needed to persevere. I don't particularly like these types of passages, but in the same breath, I know that they will pop up along the way. Press on ~ and keep moving!Am I trying to hard? SERIOUSLY! Who spends time and energy pushing for spinal and brain surgery? Have I completely lost my freaking mind?? Yes, it's true my brain is sliding out of my head, but SERIOUSLY!! I had a good heart to heart talk with God last night ~ harsh words were exchanged on my part ~ I asked why my path is so unclear and rough right now? I asked him to make things a little more obvious so that I know that I am doing the right thing. His response:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
Hello ~ did I not mention ~ clarity is needed ~ this sounds like I have a lot to learn about 'trusting with all my heart'! So ~ my goal while I am on vacation is to cast my worries and concerns to the wind ~ be still and quiet ~ and renew my trust in the Lord.
4 comments:
You deserve a wonderful vacation. SERIOUSLY! I hope the ocean can take you to that quiet place inside that's full of wonder. Dip your toes in the water for me. xoxoxo
I totally understand where you are coming from. I had a heart to heart talk with God the other night and I kept asking why, why, why, and so on.... I cried alot which is something I try not to do because it only makes my head hurt worse. I just feel like He has left me because the more I ask why the more of what I hear from Him is silence. Yep zippo not getting any feedback which makes me feel more alone. The more I ask why the more things seem to break around here and take more of our money that we don't have to spare. So I am pretty much standing still on a small piece of board in the middle of the ocean with raging waves and no hope in sight...sigh...
I hope your vacation is relaxing and renewing. Trust is an interesting thing. I thought I trusted God prior to Chiari, but then I found that my trust levels were majorly tested.
However, these tests are the one reason I don't regret Chiari. My faith has stregthened and healed in ways I never knew I was broken.
I love the verse you quoted btw, it is one of my favorites. Ofcourse the other is Isaiah 40:30-31 for obvious reasons.
take care of you, Q
Hey peanut! I need the latest brain scoop when you come back. I know it's a mess for you now..but I'm almost 8 months post surgery, and I'm pulling 20-70 lb weights at PT now. I'm feeling really almost normal. And I'm pulling for you, too....
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