Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Deep Inside This Armor ~ The Warrior Is A Child

The last couple of days have been really rough on me ~ nausea /vertigo/ headaches / trouble breathing / insomnia ~ good to be able to see the first surgery on the very near horizon. I got FOUR letters from my insurance company today. My heart instantly started to race as I was filled with anxiety ~ will they pull the rug out from under me just when I thought I was actually going to have my surgeries done?

My fears were instantly quelled as I read them one by one ~ approved, 3D CT Scan, approved inpatient surgery 2/1/08, approved outpatient procedure 3/6/08, approved inpatient surgery on 3/7/08 ~ all signed by the same medical director. If I could, I would drive over there right now and give Mr. Medical Director a huge hug!!!

So ~ getting my ducks in a row ~ results from the echo cardiogram were normal. Taking it day by day ~ drawing strength from my faith ~ daily fighting battles against the doubt and fear in my head.

The Warrior is a Child by Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Deep inside this armor - the warrior is a child.

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest.
People say that I'm amazing - never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet.

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor

Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child.


Bobby said...

Oh, thank God. Nice post. We'll be thinking of you, and praying.

lzwitty said...

What wonderful news! Not having the added stress of insurance worries will be a huge help in your recovery. Something you might want to consider doing now, too, is making extra meals now (casseroles, lasagna, etc.) and freezing them for easy meals when you get home from surgery. Or, better yet, ask friends and family to be doing so, too! PS-Your family photo is beautiful!

Caroline said...


I'm so glad to hear it was good news you opened up! You must be getting so nervous, anxious, impatient etc etc. You're in the home stretch now.

Glad things are continuing along smoothly for you and I too love your family pic. What a beautiful family! Your girls are blondies too :)



Anonymous said...

I am so glad for you with this quieting news from the dred insurance gremlins. God is good and you are as usual my hero.. Love Dad

Queli said...

And this is one of my favorite songs. I think I listened to it quite a bit around the time of my first surgery....when everyone was calling me brave, I was really huddling in my Saviors arms.