When Doubt Creeps In

Last night was the first night since my surgery that I can say that I got a good night of rest. When I awoke this morning, for a second, I totally forgot that I had even had surgery.

Shortly after awaking, I stumbled down stairs to make a strong pot of coffee. As I was filling up the pot with water a speck of red caught the corner of my eye. I peered out the kitchen window and saw the most brilliant cardinal perched on a frozen tree in our neighbors back yard. In an instant, I felt the hand of God on my left shoulder and the words, "It's going to be all right!". Then the words of Amy Grant's song, All Right. started playing in my head:
It's going to be all right, you give me what I need ~ That it's all right what may come. What strengthens hope my eyes will never see.
Just this morning as I was washing the misty visions of sleep away, the doubt was seeping in. Making me second guess my decision to have brain surgery. Why in the world would I put myself all of this pain and rehab? Couldn't I have lived with my symptoms forever, learn how to deal with it? And then, the vision of the cardinal ~ bold, scarlet, standing out in sharp contrast against the icy background, clear and inescapable. If you have been following my blog for a while I have mentioned the symbolism of the cardinal many times. Whenever I see them they send me powerful messages right on the spot.

ALL RIGHT ~ Amy Grant

Looking out to the hills

To the setting sun

I feel a cold wind

Bound to come

Another change

Another end I cannot see

But your faithfulness to me is making it

[Chorus:]

All right

I fall down on my knees

Tell me that it's all right

You give me what I need

Years of knocking on heaven's door

Have taught me this if nothing more

That it's all right, what may come

I've heard it said

When the river's running high

You get to higher ground or you die

Well muddy waves of pain

Washed over me

And it only made me see it's gonna be

[Chorus]

When will I learn there're no guarantees

What strengthens hope, my eyes have never seen

But it won't be long

Till the faith will be sight

And the heavens will say

It's all right

[Chorus]

All Right - Amy Grant