The Ball Is In My Court

The past several days have been a whirlwind and I apologize for not blogging sooner. Last Saturday we drove down to Brooklyn to celebrate my nephew's first birthday. After a long day of fun we drove back home and then packed bags and headed back to Brooklyn on Sunday afternoon.

Monday morning began with an hour spent in a MRI machine to get a look at my brain tail. We had seven hours to kill until my neurologist appointment at TCI, so we looked on the map and found a state park nearby. The sun was shining and it was a good day to spend some time outside. We picked up some sandwiches for lunch and headed over to the park. After a little hike in the woods and a brief encounter with a ribbon snake we ate lunch and enjoyed the day for a while.

Then we headed over to TCI and waited and waited for our appointment. So the verdict on my health ~ I am healing up nicely from the tethered cord surgery. I can expect about a year until my back feels 100% again. As far as my MRI films go, my herniation now is about at 12mm ~ which according to my calculation is 2 mm more than it was last April. I am still shocked when I look at the MRI scans of my chiari ~ there is brain matter stuffed into my spinal column like a tightly fitting cork ~ it's just not right ~ it shouldn't be there! My brain stem measurements had decreased a bit which is great news and probably the reason why a lot of my symptoms, especially vertigo, have vanished.

So what's the prognosis for a decompression surgery? Well, basically the ball is in my court. I am definitely a candidate for surgery, but it's my decision when to have it done. (Is there ever a 'good' time to have brain surgery???) I should feel tremendous relief, but I don't. Why? I am still experiencing crushing Chiari headaches, blurred vision, my neck is still popping and cracking when I look from side to side. So I guess I have resolved myself to waiting ~ wait and see what happens. I don't understand why I have come this far with my struggle to have it fizzle out at the end. I am completely prepared for brain surgery but for reasons beyond my comprehension it's not in God's plans for my life right now. ~sigh~