So ~ I was driving to work this morning and I was struck by a tsunami size wave of emotion. This happens to me a lot on my drives to and from work. It takes about 30 min each way. Since I have some time to slow down and clear my head, emotions bubble up to the surface. Almost out loud I exclaimed, "Why in the world are you thinking about having brain surgery! All of your symptoms are all in your head ~ you are making all of this up!!!" I think that maybe my sub conscience is still trying to come to grips with reality ~ thus the struggle inside my head.
Something I have learned through many trials and tribulations is that when I have let God into the drivers seat, things just fall into place. So after I wiped my tear stained cheeks and walked into my office, my cell phone rang ~ it was the Chiari Institute. They had a cancellation and want me to come in next Tuesday, May 8th instead of May 21st. You have to understand how hard it is to get an appointment to appreciate the importance of getting bumped up to the top of the list (twice now)! Most people have to wait 2-3 months to get an appointment. After a couple of phone calls to secure care for the girls, I accepted the appointment.
I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now ~ I am sensing that something/someone bigger than me knows the urgency of my situation and is taking care of me. It's that same feeling I felt when I was happily cheering away at a basketball game in junior high. I had recently changed doctors and a full blood workup had been done. The next day, Mom shows up and calmly tells me that I have a life threatening condition and that I could have a heart attack at any moment and die. From there I was quickly admitted into the hospital. So ~ yeah ~ I am feeling a little on edge.
Things are definitely in motion. I am in good hands and I will have more answers soon. Go with the flow ~ I am being led.