A week has passed since my visit to the Chiari Institute. The shock is beginning to wear off, and now I am faced with trying to make sense out of all the information I received. Although I did get some pretty clear answers, and THREE surgeries are on the table, I am not quite sure what to do. What would you do? I am thankful that I "have time" to think about what the next step is. I'm not being forced by anyone to do anything right now ~ but on the other hand I wish someone would make the decisions for me.
I feel as if I standing on the bank of a turbulent river. Once you take that first step, you are going to get wet ~ there's not doubt about it! There are just so many things to be considered with the risks of the surgeries and will they actually alleviate my symptoms for good? If not ~ why would I put myself and my family through all of this pain? So, while I am mulling over the pros and cons ~ I take great comfort in music. Funny how sometimes they just speak to my heart ~ like they were written with me in mind. I do have a hiding place ~ and I am learning to trust God more ~ but it's not easy...
Hiding Place ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
In the distance I can see the storm clouds coming my way, And I need to find a shelter before it starts to rain, So I turn and run to you, Lord, You're the only place to go, Where unfailing love surrounds me, When I need it most. You're my hiding place, Safe in your embrace, I'm protected from the storm that rages, When the waters rise, And I run to hide, Lord in you I'll find my hiding place. I'm not asking you to take away my troubles, Lord, Cause it's through the stormy weather I'll learn to trust you more, But I thank you for the promise, And I have come to know, Your unfailing love surrounds me,When I need it most.