Friday, April 20, 2007

Steps Along The Way

The latest news is that I had an appointment with yet another neuro-surgeon today for my insurance company motivated "second opinion". Is it just me or is it bizarre that I now have 2 neuro-surgeons? After my examination, he was profoundly surprised that I needed a second opinion to confirm that I have a sliding brain and I need to go to the experts.

I try to walk around in this body that God have given me and do the best with what he has given me. I cope ~ I adjust ~ I persevere ~ I push through hardships ~ it's what I do, AND I have gotten very good at all these things. However, the problem with these finely honed skills is that sometimes I can't see the trees for the forest.

During my examination at my second neuro-surgeon, he did a battery of balance and strength tests. I could tell, and so could John, that I have definitely declined over the past couple of months. I could barely walk toe to heal in a straight line.

So ~ next steps ~ the surgeon said that he would gladly write a letter recommending that I have my surgery done at the Chiari Institue. But wait, there's more, he also thought it would be a super idea to have another MRI of my brain and neck to see how much my adorable brain tail has grown since September 2006.

I am feeling a wave of relief that this is not just in my head, that I really have something going on inside that needs expert medical attention. At the same time I am letting the fear seep in at a trickle so that I can digest it and turn it into strength. My mind is already made up. Brain surgery is daunting. I can do this. One step at a time. Deep breaths.

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