Learn Something New Each Day

Just when you thought you knew everything ~

Life Is So Much More Than What Your Eyes Are Seeing

I believe Christmas is a time for miracles, love and unexplainable happiness. If this is true, how come I hear stories of hearts breaking, hopes dashed, fears realized? Pain and despair are all around us ~ if not directly going on in our lives, chances are that we have a friend or family member who is in the fight of their life.

I know that I alone can't take away any of these trials, as much as I would love to wash it all away. But there's always hope ~ I encourage anyone reading this post to share the message of hope ~ of faith ~ What can faith do in your life?

WHAT FAITH CAN DO ~ KUTLESS
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Christmas Is All in the Heart

Less than two weeks until Christmas and my brain is buzzing with anxiety ~ all those lists compiling in my head and certainly not enough post it notes to contain them all. I have done well with putting on my cyber hat and have done most of my shopping on-line this year, but there's always an item or two that requires actual shopping!

Being a brain surgery survivor, I feel grateful for how much better I feel this Christmas than last. Hey, I might even be able to store memories this year, too. Last year's Christmas is a blur ~ honestly, I can't remember on thing from last year. Maybe it's for the best ~ a defense mechanism to work through the pain of recovery.

If you are reading this and you have a brain tail, you just might know what I am talking about when I share with you that my brain short circuits, still, from time to time when I can't organize my thoughts or when I get a big dose of sensory overload. The holiday shopping frenzies = SENSORY OVERLOAD. ~sigh ~ 10 ~ 9 ~ 8 ~ 7 ~ 6 ~ 5 ~ 4 ~ 3 ~ 2 ~ 1 ~ This is me taking a couple of seconds to breathe ~ collect my thoughts and move forward.

The shopping will get time ~ I just need to focus on one thing at a time ~ and remember to breathe from time to time ~ oi! More importantly ~ Christmas isn't about the presents ~ Christmas is all in the heart...

Hidden Treasures ~ What's In Your Coat Pocket?

Hidden treasures ~ those little unexpected surprises we discover ~ look around the floorboard of your car (you might even find a two day old burrito with a lil bit o carpet lint on it) ~ all kind of treasures between the sofa cushions, too. What about your winter coat pocket? When was the last time your looked in there?

Snow fell this weekend and I decided it was OK to go ahead and put on my wool coat ~ the thermometer read 27 degrees this morning. As I was putting on my coat I noticed there was something in my pocket ~ I reached in and pulled out the contents ~ ear plugs ~ lovely. Wow ~ it's been over a year since I wore my grey coat ~ I can tell just by pulling out those little bits of yellow foam. These must have been left over from my last MRI right before my decompression last December.

Funny how an object can cause a wave of emotions to wash over me in an instant. I would have preferred to find a stick of gum, maybe some loose change/dollar bills, a grocery list. Like a sage friend of mine told me today ~

'Maybe God wants you to remember that time in your life and He doesn't want you
to EVER forget.'

Message received ~ What will you find in the deep pockets of your winter coat? Maybe someone is trying to get a message across to you, too.

NCB ~ Simply ~ The BEST

Our North Colonie Pee Wee Large cheer team competed at the Eastern Regional competition last weekend in Trenton, NY. Our cars were covered in shoe polish with NORTH COLONIE BISON. The top two teams go on to compete at the National level in Florida, Walt Disney World. Last year we missed going to Nationals by TWO points.

After the NY competitions were done we had three weeks to totally re-choreographed our routine to kick it up a notch so that we would have a shot at placing in the top two.. We threw in one legged stunts ~ liberties, arabesques and a heal stretch. Practices were long and tiring, but the girls rose above all the sicknesses that plagued our squad and made it work.

When it came time for us to take the floor and practice one last time before performing ~ confidence was shaken to the core for Hannah. The noise level in the arena was high ~ the girls couldn't even hear us shouting out the eight counts to walk through their routine. For whatever reason Hannah's stunt group didn't get her up and there wasn't a second chance to practice again. Our team was ushered off the practice mats and we got in line to perform. Emotions were running high ~ there was electricity in the air with anticipation of performing our 2:30 minute cheer/dance.

Us coaches were getting the girls pumped up ~ wishing them good luck and getting ready to say goodbye to them before their performance. I glanced over at Hannah and saw her tear streaked face ~ she was totally devastated ~ she was shaken and I had to find a way to get her past defeat and focused on the huge task at hand. She is a flyer this year and goes up in the air a couple of times during the routine. If her confidence didn't come back and quickly it would have spelled disaster for the routine.

I rushed over to embrace her ~ looked in her red eyes and told her she was going to nail her performance ~ shake off the feeling of inadequacy and make it work. I stepped away from her to let the other coaches swoop in to boost her up, too. She got the water works flowing for me and I had to turn away to hide my tears from the rest of the team. We said goodbye and took our places in the tunnel where the coaches wait until our team takes the floor. What a nerve wracking 30+ minutes we waited!

When our NC Bison took the floor we were ushered to the coaches box to watch them perform. We all held hands tightly ~ my heart was beating a million beats a second ~ I said another prayer ~ took a deep breath and waited for them to begin. When our girls spirited onto the floor I could see their smiles and their energy was bubbly ~ they had taken the floor to give it their all and they were happy! Their performance was flawless ~ not one bobble ~ all the stunts went up ~ what an answer to prayer. When they were done we all leaped to our feet ~ screaming ~ jumping up and down. Our girls had given it their all ~ and now we waited for the results.

Truthfully, I didn't even want to watch the other teams compete. We had done our best and our fate was in the hands of the judges. When all the teams took the floor for the awards ceremony I had high hopes that we would place,but had no idea if we had done well enough to go to Nationals. When they announced our team as the THIRD PLACE winners it was bittersweet ~ yeah we missed the coveted second and first place, but we had competed with a tough competition. There were tears of disappointment, but by the time we left the arena our girls filed out with smiles on their faces and heads held high.

Not until a couple of days later did we find out what the other team's scores were ~ that's when our third place win became even more bittersweet ~ we missed Disney by one third of a point!! That's 0.333333333 ~ Last year we came in FOURTH ~ this year THIRD ~ next year ~ DISNEY.

It's the Climb

Often, I get swept away in the flurry of activity in my life ~ it helps me to not focus so much on the tireless climbing. Chiari never takes a vacation ~ the brain tail might sleep in late after a full day of inflicting pain, but awakes soon enough. In light of our cheer competition last weekend (that's another post) it's hit home more than ever that life is all about the climb.

Living with Chiari is a climb, but along the way lives have been touched ~ healing is going on all around us. I am trying to re-focus and stop looking behind at the past and ahead at the future and stay in the moment ~ the now ~ the ground beneath me. Won't you join me?

THE CLIMB ~ Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreamin but,

there's a voice inside my head saying, you'll never reach it.

every step I'm taking every move I make feels lost with no direction, my faith is shaking,

but I, I gotta keep trying I gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle and sometimes I'm gonna have to lose it

ain't about how fast I get there ain't about what's waiting on the other side

its the climb

The struggles I'm facing

the chances I'm taking

sometimes might knock me down but

no I'm not breaking

I may not know it but these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most yeah just gotta keep going and I

got be strong gotta keep on pushing on cuz

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

always gonna be an uphill battle sometimes

I'm gonna have to lose ain't about how fast I get there

ain't about whats waiting on the other side

its the climb

keep on moving keep climbing

keep the faith babe

its all about its all about the climb

keep the faith keep your faith

I Can Only Imagine

Blogging has been a way for me to express what I cannot vocalize and I am trying to get back in the swing of things by blogging more. As my one year post decompression date is beginning to appear just over the horizon I seem to be doing a lot of reflecting. There were a lot of blogs that I started and they ended up in my draft box. This one I actually started on 10/12/07 ~ I thought today would be a good day finally post it.

Facing fear ~ staring it in the face ~ thoughts of death and dying have come up for me, for obvious reasons. But you see, to die would be devastating for my family and friends, but for me, I can only imagine.

When I wrote my thoughts about staring death in the face, I hadn't even been detethered yet ~ but I was processing the imminent fear that comes when facing brain surgery. I look back and smile knowing that putting it all out there, expressing my fear, laying it all down for the Lord to take it from me ~ my fear was totally dissolved by the time I had surgery.



WE all face fear on a daily basis ~ rather it's a fear of spiders or death ~ we all deal with it in different ways. For me, fixing my eyes on eternity put everything in perspective and it's a good reminder for me today. I woke up with a brain tail headache ~ it's the 13th and a Friday today ~ not that I am superstitious, but I am not firing on all cylinders today. Note to self ~ no operating heavy machinery today!

Open Minded ~

Which Fringe Character Are You?

More on Fringe. Created by BuddyTV

Any FRINGE fans out there? Did I mention that last year FRINGE became on of my most favorite new shows. I find it ironic every time someone mentions the words 'open minded' in reference to me ~ seriously have the brain on my mind 24-7. Brain surgery ~ check ~ I am coming up on my one year anniversary since my new birthday (brain decompression 12/3/08). That day certainly was a milestone in this journey we call life, but as I am finding to be more and more true these days ~ you can't blaze past brain surgery and think that everything will go back to normal ~ whatever normal is to you.

Brain surgery has changed me on so many levels ~ unexplainable things have been happening ~ maybe that's why I can totally identify and relate with the plot of FRINGE ~ nothings too far fetched when it comes to the capability of the mind. Expect the unexpected and the unimaginable to happen on a daily basis and roll with it.

If Looks Could Kill

This was the result of me leaving work early on Thursday to pick up a sick child ~ must make the best use of my time off, right? Captain Kirk so did not enjoy the DUDE hat ~ I blame him for me having lost my voice completely today!

Conquer Chiari Walk ~ 2009

So I am a little late on posting about the chiari walk that took place on September 26th ~ life has been crazy busy. The morning of 9/26 was absolutely gorgeous ~ the sun was shining and the air was crisp. I don't know the final count of how many walkers participated, but there was a good size crowd of brain tails and their friends/family. I ended up being the grand Marshall for our walk, because I was the only one who knew the route. Thank goodness the vertigo is gone or it would have been a swirly walk for everyone!

The best part of the brain tail gathering was being reunited with my brain tail friends who came from near and far. So good to see everyone and spend time catching up on our lives. We are all a hearty bunch. On the outside you might see smiles, but inside we are all struggling with either pain, financial burdens due to the aftermath of insurance bills, emotional stress ... We have our good days and other days when it's a struggle to crawl out of bed. Getting together reminds us that we are not alone in our chiari journey ~ we draw strength from one another ~ and make that choice to keep taking the next step forward in life. It's not easy, but we are all fighters ~ bound and determined to not let chiari win.

Thanks to all of you who support a chiarian in one form or another ~ every day we are one step closer to conquering chiari.