Monday, July 21, 2008

Made Up My Mind

I am all for the diminishing of FEAR ~ fear has the ability to literally drain the essence of life right out of me! So, with that said I made up my mind today and took a baby step of faith. I e-mailed TCI to see what's the next step I need to make to get the ball rolling to schedule surgery. I feel like until I have a surgery date this big black cloud is looming overhead ~ the brain tail is putting my whole life on hold ~ not to mention my family!

The facts are that by going ahead with the decompression I will be fighting back ~ not letting chiari direct my life. I understand that the decompression will help but might not completely heal me of my symptoms. I know there is no 'cure' for chiari yet ~ but I can't keep putting my life on hold.

I went on a long walk this afternoon after work and the song I posted below really spoke to me. Surprising ~ really ~ since I have had this song on my iPod for a couple of years. "Talk to the one who made you ~ talk to the one who understands ~ talk to the one who gave you the light in your eyes". What a simple message ~ so I took Sheryls' advice ~ asked God to orchestrate the details of brain surgery ~ His timing and not my agenda. I heard almost an audible laugh in response (I usually do when I 'surrender control' over to Him again and again!) I got the message that this speed bump in my life is necessary for perspective ~ but there is so much more work to be done here on Earth. ~sigh~

Light In Your Eyes - Sheryl Crow


RiverPoet said...

I know you're scared and feeling uncertain about this. Talking to God is the right thing to do. I talked to Him all day Sunday as I lay in the bed with yet another Chiari headache. It was one of the worst ones I've had.

I will be going back to see Dr. Weingart again next month, and if he says surgery this time, I'm going to say, "When?" Enough of my life has been whittled away about this disorder, and while I know there is no cure, it would be nice to get some relief.

I wish you well.

Peace - D

BillyBob said...

Our prayers are with you as you embark on yet another journey to seek
relief from your terrible symptoms. God bless you, friend. Love, Bobby, not the liver

Patti said...

Lacie~You are in my prayers especially now with your decision to go forward with this surgery.

Thanks to you and your encouraging words I made it thru my decompression!! Thank God for Chiari Friends!!