I am all for the diminishing of FEAR ~ fear has the ability to literally drain the essence of life right out of me! So, with that said I made up my mind today and took a baby step of faith. I e-mailed TCI to see what's the next step I need to make to get the ball rolling to schedule surgery. I feel like until I have a surgery date this big black cloud is looming overhead ~ the brain tail is putting my whole life on hold ~ not to mention my family!
The facts are that by going ahead with the decompression I will be fighting back ~ not letting chiari direct my life. I understand that the decompression will help but might not completely heal me of my symptoms. I know there is no 'cure' for chiari yet ~ but I can't keep putting my life on hold.
I went on a long walk this afternoon after work and the song I posted below really spoke to me. Surprising ~ really ~ since I have had this song on my iPod for a couple of years. "Talk to the one who made you ~ talk to the one who understands ~ talk to the one who gave you the light in your eyes". What a simple message ~ so I took Sheryls' advice ~ asked God to orchestrate the details of brain surgery ~ His timing and not my agenda. I heard almost an audible laugh in response (I usually do when I 'surrender control' over to Him again and again!) I got the message that this speed bump in my life is necessary for perspective ~ but there is so much more work to be done here on Earth. ~sigh~