Friday, February 23, 2007

Bubbling Up To The Surface

Water bubbles can't help themselves. They know that the only place they want to go is up to the surface. They may be trapped underwater for some time, but eventually they make their journey to the surface of the water. Emotions are the same. Life experiences produce a plethora of emotions. Some we feel immediately, others we stuff below the surface, tucked away to be felt at another time and place. But the irony here, is that eventually, the mixture of emotions that have laid dormant will be expressed.

Imagine for a moment a pair of flood gates ~ they are built to protect whatever lies down stream from a destructive flooding force. When the waters are rising behind the gates, sometimes the gatekeepers open the gates a little bit to release the water at a manageable rate to keep the gates from bursting. I wish this was true with emotions.

Since September of this year I have felt like I have done a pretty good job at keeping a lid on the chaos going on inside of me. That's what I do well ~ I've had years of rigorous training in this department. But let's face it ~ I am human and I break down every now and then. When this happens the flood gate are opened wide ~ everything comes rushing to the surface ~ the force of the emotions are like a herd of wild horses running free with wild abandon after being kept in the corral for too long. What surprises me each time this happens is how closely knit the different emotions are bound together: happy~sad, relief~anger, denial~acceptance, a sense of peace~ fear, sure footed~confused. The light and the dark are intertwined.

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