I Believe In The Sun Even When It's Not Shining

It's easy to get lost in the dreariness of winter. It seems like the wintry mix and clouds will never part. That's what I was thinking on my drive in to work this morning ~ then as quickly as the depressing thoughts came into my head, they were gone with the sound of lyrics on the radio that transported me once again to a place of hope and warmth.

I Believe In Love ~ Barlow Girl

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?

Is there still faith in me to reach the end?

I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith

But giving up would cost me everything

So I'll stand in the pain and silence

And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it

And I believe in God even when He is silent

And I, I believe

Though I can't see my stories ending

That doesn't mean the dark night has no end

It's only here that I find faith

And learn to trust the one who writes my days

So I'll stand in the pain and silence

And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it

And I believe in God even when He is silent

And I, I believe No dark can consume Light

No death greater than this life

We are not forgotten

Hope is found when we say

Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it

And I believe in God even when He is silent

And I, I believe.

Determination

Helloooo ~ any blog readers out there? I know I have been taking some time away from the world of blogging ~ I am still alive and thought I would start with a random post to try and jump start my muse again. Surely this picture would inspire at least one reader out there!

Let me introduce you to our latest outside resident ~ have you ever seen such acrobatic skills just for a bite to eat? I have yet to actually witness how this creature gets up to the feeder in the first place. This squirrel didn't get to be so full and fluffy by hanging out in a hole of a tree ~ he's spent some long hard hours thinking outside of the box ~ learning new skills. You should see Captain's reaction when the acrobat show begins. He jumps up on the window sil and stares intently at the squirrel ~ I think he's decided that it's another cat and not categorized as a second breakfast. Hey, he's brown and has a fuzzy tail like him, so it must be a cat, right????

Chiari Ripple

When I was a kid growing up in Texas, one of my most favorite things to do in the country was to try and skip rocks on a pond or lake. When I grew tired of rock skipping I would find the heaviest rock I could heft and I would hurl it into the pond with great anticipation of how big a splash it would make! Even though those splashes were spectacular I was always mesmorized by the ripples the rocks created ~ those perfectly formed circles seemed to go on for miles.

Now that I have the post-decompression perspective I am still in awe at how the chiari ripple continues to grow.

When I first learned about my invasive brain tail I felt so alone in my journey ~ how could anyone possibly understand what I am going through? After starting my blog I found with each passing day that I wasn't alone ~ there were others out there with chiari suffering along side me.

Our Hope Endures

I have been absent in the blogger world and wanted to touch base and let your know what's going on in my little corner of the world. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary since my spinal de-tethering surgery yesterday. Hooray ~ today I went back to work ~ that 2 month 'spa' vacation really flew by fast! I am finding that getting back into the swing of things is like getting to know the characters on LOST again after they have been on a long sabbatical.

People keep asking me how I feel in comparison to before the surgery. It's a tough question to answer, because I felt so bad for at least three years prior to surgery. Now ~ I truly feel like I have been given a fresh start at life ~ I feel more alive than I have for a very long time. Yes, I have rock star neurosurgeons, they did an outstanding job restoring my brain and I owe them my life. However, I know that my faith in God's healing hands and my positive spirit have healed me from the inside out.

I wanted to share some beautiful lyrics I heard last week that continue to haunt my thoughts. I so identify with the lyrics I posted below and the emotions they bring up to the surface. There are so many Chiarians out there who can identify with the constant struggle with chronic pain ~ there seems to be no end to the struggling & the pain, but our hope endures. As for me and my journey, something I am getting more and more comfortable with is taking steps in faith. I know that no matter what comes my way I will have enough hope to endure.

"Our Hope Endures" ~ Natalie Grant

You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?

Or joy at a good man's wake?

Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked

With illness, oh how can she laugh?

Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone