Where Did Autumn Go?

Do you ever feel like you are running so fast to keep up with things only to find yourself standing still? We had our first snow storm this week ~ big, wet snowflakes. Chiari really messes with my memory, I have an extremely hard time remembering what the date is ~ seeing SNOW fall in October is really confusing! So in an attempt to see things positively, I am praying that we get enough snow fall before my surgery date so that I can go snow shoeing at least once ~ is that so much to ask?

Last night we finally carved our pumpkins and roasted the seeds ~ seriously ~ is it really Halloween already? Time is just flying by!

Sorry for my lack of blogging, my laptop is out of commission and quite frankly I haven't been feeling very well lately. I guess this is a good sign, confirmation that I definitely need surgery and soon. Each headache is taking me one step closer to my decompression...

Chiari Anatomy 101

I have known about Chiari only since September 2006 ~ yet it seems like a lifetime. I try to stay on top of reading other chiarian blogs and doing research on the internet ~ I came across this neat picture that visually shows you what a brain tail looks like from a bone/brain perspective.
What you are looking at is the back of the head. The cerebellum is supposed to be above the foramen magnum, but a person with Chiari, like myself, has brain matter herniated down through the foragmen magnum into the spinal column. This picture shows what the head looks like after Posterior fossa decompression surgery. The surgical procedure removes bone at the back of the skull and spine so that the brain tail has more room to hang out. Well that's my attempt at a non-medical explanation anyay. I am still hoping there's room in there to request for a memory upgrade during my surgery. Maybe they could upload a kung fu program ~

Cause when I am weak your strength is complete

It's times like this where I can't find the words to express what I am feeling ~ it's been just all too overwhelming this week. But then I hear a song on the radio and the lyrics seem to speak for me to interpret what's going on in my heart. Something I am learning is that the more things seem to unravel in my life the message that God is sending me becomes clearer. HE continues to provide, continues to sustain me, holds me up, lifts my spirits. I am in awe ~ speechless.

Sufficient - Adie Camp

Hear my heart Lord as I cry out to you

Hear my prayer Lord and carry me through

In your mercy in the promise you made

Be my strength Lord when my strength fades away

Cause when I am weak your strength is complete

It's perfect

Completely all I need

Sufficient for me

Your grace and peace are perfect

Completely all I need

You're all that I need

In my weakness I'm finding your strength

In my sorrow a gentle embrace

Through the seasons of laughter or pain

You are listening When I call out your name

I'll find you when I seek I'll look for you with all of my heart

And I'll find you when I'm weak

Cause you are strong

Hear my heart Lord as I cry out to you

Hear my prayer Lord and carry my through

Carry me through

New Discoveries Awaken the Muse

There's nothing like the shock and awe factor to awaken the Muse from her slumber. ~Sigh~ Thanks for all the happy birthday wishes ~ they really made my day. The picture above was the only thing I could think about today. The shock has worn off ~ WARNING ~ if you put your daughter into an MRI machine to capture pictures of her brain, prepare yourself for what might be revealed.

That's Skyler's brain ~ recognize the all too familiar brain tail in there? Hers is minimal ~ 5-6mm herniation. Actually, we haven't even received the official phone call from the doctor yet. I was finally able to open the MRI disk that the hospital gave to me. I immediately e-mailed my pediatrician to see if she had heard anything from the neurosurgeon yet and she confirmed my suspicions.

More later ~ I just wanted to let you all know what's going on on my lil speck on this planet. I keep reminding myself that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. More will be revealed. I just thank God that I know what Chiari is and will make it my mission in life to prevent Skyler from having any kind of brain surgery.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary ~ seems like only yesterday ~ I still remember the day this picture was taken back in 1992. I recall thinking how in the world did I find this amazing man in Lubbock, TX of all places. Some say that a picture is better than a thousand words ~ if it weren't for the incredible brain fog I am having today I would ramble on about something quite sappy ~ There are so many things I would like to say but the words just aren't finding their way on here.

I Can't Brain Today

My brain tail has totally stolen my muse again and replaced it with a swirling, vertigo brain. This slogan ~ I can't brain today, I have the dumb ~ is perfect since I walk around daily in a thick brain fog ~ but the sad thing is, I often scramble the words and it comes out ~ I can't dumb today I have the brain!

I am counting down the days til I go in for surgery! Trying to keep myself busy with life ~ taking it one day at a time and trying to remember what day it is ~ what planet I am on. The girls have their cheerleading competition this weekend ~ a fun filled day of loud cheerleaders and blaring music ~ ooo ooo ~ can't wait. Seriously, I do enjoy watching them perform but could really do without all the activity surrounding the event.