TEN YEARS Post Brain Surgery ~ Reflection

This time ten years ago, 12/3/2008, I was under the knife, just three hours into an eight hour brain surgery. How do you measure a year?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year? ~ Jonathan Larson

During my early recovery days, each day that passed was a monumental feat! Less pain, more mobility, fewer headaches and vertigo. One breath at a time. Looking back, healing from the pain was the easier part. I never expected the emotional & spiritual fallout that would follow.

I have observed that Medical practices in the USA focus on the physical symptoms as a measuring stick of healing progress. Less pain and an increase in quality of life = successful surgery. I agree only slightly with this statement. My recovery was/is more complex than just the physical. Before I take a hard left turn, I do want to share with you how I am doing physically post decompression. I still get migraines from time to time, I am a living barometer and sensitive to low/high barometric swings in the weather.  My sleeping has gotten better, but I am still plagued by some sleepless nights. (Don't get me started on what theories I have to explain missing time during the night that shows up on my Fitbit).  However, my quality of life has greatly improved and my hope has been restored in knowing I will have a long and happy life.

Now for the dark side of my journey...my life has been shaken up like an earthquake since 2008.

There is no doubt in my mind that I was "re-booted", awakened, during brain surgery. I came back a different version of me. I can't say that this happens to all brain surgery patients, but it absolutely happened to me. No one warned me that this was a possibility. There's was  no way to guard against it even if I knew what was going to happen. In the wake of this knowing, I did the only thing I could do, move forward and don't look back.

For a long while, I was angry at God for letting me survive brain surgery, only to have my life as I knew it figuratively burn to the ground til there was a pile of smoldering ashes left.  I know now, this transformation had to happen so that I could embrace what was in store for me just up the road.

2018 had been a momentous year. My Daddy lost his fight with cancer in May and moved into another realm. This has stirred up an unexpected review of my life. It's been painful to sit with such heavy grief that comes with losing a father, but it's also given me a renewed joy for life.

I am so very thankful for my life post braintail surgery. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. Brain surgery was the wake up call I needed to fully embrace and discover what my purpose is during my lifetime here on the planet.