Human Barometer ~ Another Fun Chiari Talent

Ok ~ 'UNCLE' ~ I have had quite enough of the low pressure fronts that keep shrouding the Capital District Region~ enough already!!! Having a Chiari brain tail has turned me into a human barometer ~ TRUE STORY ~ seriously ~ Galileo would be proud.

If there was some way that us Chiarians could make a living out of telling weather forcasters that there's a low pressure front headed our way ~ maybe it would make the pain not so painful ~ right?! My head has been pounding for over a week now ~ hoping the weekend will bring some relief. I am far from even being able to grasp how this whooseedo over at the left works ~ but I do know that low atmospheric pressure = pressure build up in my noggin = headaches! *sigh*

"How the barometer works:

While not as accurate as modern day aneroid barometers, the principle of the early Water Barometer is sound. When atmospheric pressure decreases, the fluid is pulled upward toward the top of the barometer tube (low pressure). As atmospheric pressure increases, the fluid is "pushed down" (high pressure). Standard atmospheric pressure at sea level is 29.92".

I am soooo looking foward to some escapism tomorrow night with a TWO hour Grey's Anatomy finale ~ it's the little things that matter like good TV!

Operation Dandelion

I woke up this morning with the all too familiar pounding of the brain tail. Clouds have filled the sky on this dreary Friday ~ low barometric pressure ~ headaches. Then I remember my all too enthusiastic assault on the dandelions in our front yard yesterday afternoon.

It was the girls idea ~ seriously ~ I taught them last week how to dig down to the roots and then pull the weed from the ground so that they don't grow back. It's now a game to see who can find the dandelion with the biggest 'Medusa' roots! After an hour of slaving away at evicting the all too plentiful weeds we had filled an entire lawn bag!

Pulling weeds from the ground was therapeutic ~ getting rid of the things in my life that may look pretty on the outside ~ they have a vice-like grip in the soil of my life. Removing them is a lot harder than it looks ~ but then the lawn looks more beautiful than before. Seriously ~ I was amazed how strong the roots were on these tiny plants ~ simply amazing!

Note to self ~ as fun as pulling weeds may be ~ leaning my head over and straining to pull weeds out of the ground is not a Chiari friendly activity ~ must restrain myself from a full out assault any time soon.

Storm Over Everest ~

Last night, PBS aired Storm Over Everest which is a documentary put together by renowned climber/filmmaker Dave Breashears. Dave interviewed several survivors of the 1996 Everest tragedy (Guy Cotter, Lene Gammelgaard, Lou Kasischke, Sandy Hill, Michael Groom, Beck Weathers, Neil Beidleman). Ever since I read the book Into Thin Air I have been passionately obsessed with reading every book written about Everest ~ especially the stories of what happened that fateful night on the mountain where several climbers perished.

I admire and respect Breashears ~ he's a well seasoned climber and an excellent story teller. My heart has ached a long time for the stigma that has been placed on the climbers that were on the South side of Mount Everest in May of 1996. Assumptions were made ~ people were judged ~ based on a few accounts of what people thought happened on the mountain. Dave brings a fuller story to the surface ~ sheds light in some dark places. I was especially moved when the story gave the account of how Anatoli Boukreev went back by himself and rescued several people off the mountain.

As I watched the program I felt like I was sitting in my living room listening to stories being told with all of the familiar climbers. You see, after reading so many stories about these peoples lives, I feel in some way that they are kindred souls. They all possess within themselves a ferocious will to live ~ a love of life that kept them alive on Everest when they could have gone to sleep and died out there. If you click on this link http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/everest/ you can watch the full 2-hour show on line.

Somehow, in hearing first hand accounts ~ hearing their voices ~ seeing the emotions on their faces ~ I feel a sense of relief. Through people sharing their life stories it gives new meaning to what it means to be alive after being stranded in the 'death zone'.

Little Green Men

Since the X-Files new movie is coming out this summer my thoughts have wandered to government conspiracies & little green men as of late. To give credit where credit is due, I heard a conversation on the radio yesterday on the way to work ~ so this isn't completely original ~ but it made me pause and think.

You know how horse jockey's have a weight requirement ~ they have to be light on the horses backs so that the horses can run a fast race. Well ~ think about this ~ maybe all the accounts of aliens as 'tiny green men' is because they have a height requirement for the small UFOs. What a rude reality check it would be if we decided we could invade alien colonies ~ we thought they were tiny ~ thus we could have a great advantage. Then we find out that only the pilots of the UFOs are tiny and the rest of them are giants! LOL!

See what fills up my mind when I am not obsessing about my brain tail!!!

I'm Giving In To Something Heavenly

The lyrics to this song seem to sum up everything I am going through right now ~ giving in to something heavenly ~ something bigger than myself ~ something bigger than me.

Sanctus Real - Whatever You’re Doing

It’s time for healing, time to move on,

it’s time to fix what’s been broken too long

Time to make right what has been wrong;

it’s time to find my way to where I belong

Chorus:

There’s a wave that’s crashing over me, and all I can do is surrender

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace

And it’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see,

but I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone, time to begin again, re-evaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?

So show me what it is You want from me I give everything – I surrender

Chorus:

Time to face up, clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out that I’ve wanted to say for so many years

Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but I believe …

You’re up to something bigger than me

Larger than life, something heavenly

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but now I can see

This is something bigger than me

Larger than life Something heavenly, something heavenly

Time to face up, clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

Brain Tail Comparison

I am hoping that I will wake up one day and forget about my Chiari and just get on with the rest of my life. But then I look at these MRI pictures of my brain tail and can't help but see that I still have a significant herniation. The MRI pic on the left was taken on May 5, 2008 and the one on the right was taken in April of 2007. When I examined the pictures side by side I can see that my herniation has shrunk maybe a millimeter. You can click on the picture and see the zoomed version. The bottom of my cerebellum seems to be at the top of my C2 instead of at the bottom of C2.

So ~ here's to praying that my brain tail will leave me alone and just learn how to co-exhist with me. Random note ~ I have got to have the weirdest shaped head ~ I'll be I would be good at carrying things on my head!

The Ball Is In My Court

The past several days have been a whirlwind and I apologize for not blogging sooner. Last Saturday we drove down to Brooklyn to celebrate my nephew's first birthday. After a long day of fun we drove back home and then packed bags and headed back to Brooklyn on Sunday afternoon.

Monday morning began with an hour spent in a MRI machine to get a look at my brain tail. We had seven hours to kill until my neurologist appointment at TCI, so we looked on the map and found a state park nearby. The sun was shining and it was a good day to spend some time outside. We picked up some sandwiches for lunch and headed over to the park. After a little hike in the woods and a brief encounter with a ribbon snake we ate lunch and enjoyed the day for a while.

Then we headed over to TCI and waited and waited for our appointment. So the verdict on my health ~ I am healing up nicely from the tethered cord surgery. I can expect about a year until my back feels 100% again. As far as my MRI films go, my herniation now is about at 12mm ~ which according to my calculation is 2 mm more than it was last April. I am still shocked when I look at the MRI scans of my chiari ~ there is brain matter stuffed into my spinal column like a tightly fitting cork ~ it's just not right ~ it shouldn't be there! My brain stem measurements had decreased a bit which is great news and probably the reason why a lot of my symptoms, especially vertigo, have vanished.

So what's the prognosis for a decompression surgery? Well, basically the ball is in my court. I am definitely a candidate for surgery, but it's my decision when to have it done. (Is there ever a 'good' time to have brain surgery???) I should feel tremendous relief, but I don't. Why? I am still experiencing crushing Chiari headaches, blurred vision, my neck is still popping and cracking when I look from side to side. So I guess I have resolved myself to waiting ~ wait and see what happens. I don't understand why I have come this far with my struggle to have it fizzle out at the end. I am completely prepared for brain surgery but for reasons beyond my comprehension it's not in God's plans for my life right now. ~sigh~

Steve and Me

I just read Steve and Me by Terri Irwin. You can click on this link and read an excerpt. Reading about their love story and their life together was neat. Steve received all kinds of negative media and I believe that he was greatly misunderstood.

While I was reading about all the stories I could visually see them as I remembered episodes of the Crocodile Hunter. What an amazing, passionate man who did amazing things to educate people about wildlife preservation. When I got to the point in the book where Terri received news of his death I felt sad all over again like he had just passed away.

Now that Steve has passed along his family continues to be wildlife warriors. There is still so much going on at the Australia Zoo ~ Steve's exuberance lives on in those who loved him.

Kaitlin's Instrument

I just love Amy Poehler ~ she makes me laugh! here's one of her SNL Kaitlin skits ~ try clicking on the picture below that for her skit about babysitting an iguana.

***Warning ~ if you aren't fully awake yet ~ watch this after you have had your morning coffee!

Kaitlin: And watching this iguana would look really good on my baby-sitting resume. Because right now all I have is for my special skills microwave popcorn, scary stories, bedtime enforcement and now I can add advanced iguana ca-a-a-are!!

Kaitlin: Hey, Eli. As her primary caretaker, can I ask you a few questions?

Eli: Shoot.

Kaitlin: Does she likes to wear hats?

Eli: No.

Kaitlin: Does she goes on a trampoline?

Eli: No.

Kaitlin: But she would let a mouse ride on her back?

Eli: No,wait. Maybe.

Kaitlin: Does she like microwave popcorn?

Eli: Yes.

Kaitlin: Well, awesome cause tonight we're gonna make microwave popcorn and then we're gonna read each other horoscopes cause I'm an Aquarius and [sings and dances around]this is the dawn of the new Aquarius, age of Aquarius!! AQUARIUS!!! AQUARIUUUUUUUS!![right on Rick's ear]

Kaitlin: I know, cause one time I was wearing Christmas lights as a belt and my jeans were still wet and when I plugged my belt i got sh-o-o-o-cked and I had total amnesia for like one minute and I said to Jesus:"If this is my time to wipe my slate clean, please give me a new identity where I work at Diary Queen and I can get on a mic and call people's names when their burgers are ready. Cheryl!, your burger is ready! Thomas!, come get your peanut butter parfait. Rick!,your cheeseburger's ready",[in his ear] Rick!, Rick!, Rick!

Kaitlin: Rick can Miss Reba stay in her cage? Rick: Yes. Kaitlin: If she needs to be fed, can you do it? Rick: Yes. Kaitlin: Can she climb stairs? Rick: No.

Half Empty

Driving into work this morning I glanced down at my gas gauge and made a mental note to put gas in the car later today ~ I am past the half full mark. Gas prices in NY have risen to $3.73 per gallon and that's for unleaded. Seriously, I shouldn't complain, my Prius has been getting about 48 miles to the gallon lately ~ true story!

Further on down the road the song, Empty Me, by American Idol alum Chris Sligh came on the radio. Hmmm ~ seems like the word 'empty' is the word of the day! Ordinarily I would view that word as negative, but after listening to the lyrics of Chris' song I have a change of heart. Maybe I have had it wrong all this time. I think of myself as a 'half full' kind of girl ~ but maybe 'half empty' is better? Read some of the lyrics I posted below ~ listen to his song ~ and let me know what do you think.

I know how I can stray and how fast my heart can change. Empty me of this selfishness inside and every vain ambition and the poison of my pride ~ Lord empty me ~ so I can be filled with you ~ every thing is a lesser thing compared to you ~ so I surrender all.