If you've been following my blog over the past 4 years, you know that I am a firm believer in signs. They can lead me in an unexpected direction, present clarity, be uplifting or just make me laugh until I cry. I've been confiding lately in a wise friend of mine who has given me great counsel. Most recently, at the end of an encouraging email, a very simple yet profound message was conveyed ~
KEEP LOOKING UP
This wasn't a suggestion, but more of a wake up call ~ I've been looking down way too much lately and really can't remember the last time I lifted my head to the heavens and looked up. As a Chiarian, looking up isn't something we do much, because it physically hurts to look up and can cause a wicked case of vertigo. But I digress ~ God commands us to put our trust in HIM, search for that guiding light that shows us the way to go when we have lost our way.
Three times in two days I lifted my head to the skies after a torrential downpour and saw double rainbows. I was even able to capture them on my iPhone. The photo above was taken last night at the football field before the game. The rainbow is a promise that God will never flood the earth again ~ and HE always keeps his promises. But seriously, three times in two days? How many double rainbows have you seen in your lifetime. I've seen a couple but never been able to capture them on film to share with others.
The rainbow sightings have been humbling ~ giving me new perspective and hope. May you been blessed with the sighting of a double rainbow, too.
How do I make peace with someone who is constantly betraying me? Just when I think we can be friends and work together in harmony ~ SHARK FARTS ~ there she goes and does it again!!! I continue to be disappointed, over and over again. How long am I willing to put up with trying to rely on someone who isn't dependable anymore?
I am sure by now you are wondering ~ who is she talking about and why is she still friends with this person ~ right? This has to be the most challenging relationship I have been in and it's a lifelong bond. Believe me, if I could take a vacation from my brain, even for an hour or two, I totally would!
I haven't blogged in a while and don't want this post to seem completely a downer ~ so let me go over the facts first:
I have a Chiari Malformation of which there is no cure (not yet...)
I had two surgeries in 2008 to put a halt to the progress of irreversible neurological damage caused by a kinked brain stem and my brain hanging out in my spinal column
I have cranial settling and need fusion surgery, but am battling osteopenia to strengthen my bones enough so that I can eventually get the fusion surgery
When I was released from the hospital after my brain surgery, my brain surgeon gave me this piece of advice. What ever you do ~ don't get in a car accident!
My car was rear-ended about a month ago when I was sitting at a red light.
Headaches and vertigo have moved in again
So you'll find me somewhere in the middle ~ again. I don't know how this keeps happening, but just when I think I have moved out of the middle, I find myself caught here again. I am certain that I don't want to go back and it's unclear where the next path is. This might explain why my blog has been quiet for quite a while sometime. If you look at the big picture, I am a poster child for successful tethered cord and decompression surgeries. I healed beautifully and gleefully went back to work within 2 months. My quality of life has greatly improved ~ some days I almost feel 'normal'.
Then I have a day like today when it's all I can do to keep from retreating to the bedroom, close the blinds and climb under the covers ~ praying that sleep will wash away the headaches. But I press on ~ I have a physical therapy session for upper body strength and balance in an hour. Maybe after that I can take my heavy duty pain meds...But this is only a temporary fix. What does this mean long term? Do I wait until December ~ see if my bone density increased ~ then what? Do I schedule a fusion surgery for the spring? If I get the fusion done will it actually help my headaches or make them worse?
So at this point ~ I am going in the direction of welcomed distractions ~ send them my way ~ please! One day at a time ~ I keep setting mini goals and keep putting things in my calendar so that I have many things to look forward to. Honestly, the best medicine for me right now is time with friends ~ laughter is a wonderful cure. Now, can we bottle that up and cure chiari with it????
***What's up with the zebra you ask? Well if u look at a zebra it's pretty much a horse ~ except for the stripes. Chiarians are kinda like Medical Zebras .
Sorry I have been remiss in posting about my one year post decompression doc appt that I had back on 1/29/10. I have attached MRI photos of my brain ~ the one on top is the current one and the one on the bottom was taken when I had a herniation of 17mm back in September of 2006. There's a tiny bit of cerebellar herniation but not enough to write home about ~ I love the proof that they actually removed my top vertebrae and a big chunk of my skull and you can clearly see it in the image.
This past visit with my neurosurgeon was not very highly anticipated ~ in fact it was quite the bitter pill to swallow. So here's the positives first:
I am doing well enough to hold down a full time job
I am functioning at a pretty high level
I can care for myself without needing any assistance
And here's the rest of the story:
My neurological functioning has actually deteriorated a bit since May of 2009 ~ I flat out failed a couple of my neuro tests that day. You know the one where you stand with your feet together ~ hold your arms straight out in front of you and close you eyes ~ well I immediately fell backwards.
Failed to walk heal to toe without falling off the invisible tight rope
Confirmed that I have degenerative disk disease and will probably need disk replacement in my back at some time in the future
Chiari headaches are more frequent again
Vertigo is back with a vengeance
Don't forget the brain fog from hell
With that said ~ I have finally surrendered to modern medicine and am committed to taking Diamox to see if it will get my chiari headaches under control. ~ SIGH~
I have mixed feelings about my condition ~ yes, I have Chiari and even with two major surgeries ~ to prevent any further neurological damage I still have symptoms. I am learning to be at peace with this ~ enjoying the days that I feel good and to not be so hard on myself when I feel like I've been run over by a really big honkin truck!
My oldest daughter, Hannah, turns TWELVE today ~ it seems like only yesterday when she came into this world. Just the fact that I have been chosen to be a mother is a miracle! You see, my doctors had told me for years prior to my pregnancy that getting pregnant would be close to impossible. I had a miscarriage prior to Hannah, John and I were completely devastated! How could I possibly bear to hope again. Then it happened...
I was driving home from work on an ordinary day ~ the radio was on and I was going over a list of things to do in my mind ~ then I heard a voice. The voice said in a firm but loving voice ~
"You are pregnant ~ do you believe?"
Thinking I was hearing things, I turned off the radio and listened..again, I heard the same question,
"You are pregnant ~ do you believe?"
Steadying my voice, I said out loud ~
"I BELIEVE!"
Then I laughed out loud ~ What an awesome God ~ knowing that I was brokenhearted He had sent one of his messengers to deliver the good news to me. To test my faith even more, a couple of weeks later when it came time to take a pregnancy test ~ it was NEGATIVE. I smiled and replayed the voice in my head ~ Do you believe? Of course I do! The next month, when I had a positive test and a visit from my doc I found out that I was indeed NINE weeks pregnant already.
The song below is dedicated to Hannah ~ from the very second I learned that I would be her mom, I knew that she would be covered with the fingerprints of God.
Fingerprints of God ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
I can see the tears filling your eyes And I know where they're coming from They're coming from a heart that's broken in two By what you don't see The person in the mirror Doesn't look like a magazine Oh but when I look at you It's clear to me
That I can see the fingerprints of God When I look at you I can see the fingerprints of God And I know it's true You're a masterpiece that all creation Quietly applauds And you're covered with The fingerprints of God
Never has there been and never again Will there be another you Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned To be just who you are And what He's been creating Since the first beat of your heart Is a living, breathing Priceless work of art
And I can see the fingerprints of God When I look at you I can see the fingerprints of God And I know it's true You're a masterpiece that all creation Quietly applauds And you're covered with The fingerprints of God
Just look at you You're a wonder in the making And God's not through In fact, He's just getting started!
Blogging has been a way for me to express what I cannot vocalize and I am trying to get back in the swing of things by blogging more. As my one year post decompression date is beginning to appear just over the horizon I seem to be doing a lot of reflecting. There were a lot of blogs that I started and they ended up in my draft box. This one I actually started on 10/12/07 ~ I thought today would be a good day finally post it.
Facing fear ~ staring it in the face ~ thoughts of death and dying have come up for me, for obvious reasons. But you see, to die would be devastating for my family and friends, but for me, I can only imagine.
When I wrote my thoughts about staring death in the face, I hadn't even been detethered yet ~ but I was processing the imminent fear that comes when facing brain surgery. I look back and smile knowing that putting it all out there, expressing my fear, laying it all down for the Lord to take it from me ~ my fear was totally dissolved by the time I had surgery.
WE all face fear on a daily basis ~ rather it's a fear of spiders or death ~ we all deal with it in different ways. For me, fixing my eyes on eternity put everything in perspective and it's a good reminder for me today. I woke up with a brain tail headache ~ it's the 13th and a Friday today ~ not that I am superstitious, but I am not firing on all cylinders today. Note to self ~ no operating heavy machinery today!
Sometimes, a little reminder goes a long way. This time each year I feel the pull of the vortex of activities looming just ahead. School projects, assignments, cheer practices, football games, homework, cheer competitions(GO BISON!) , birthdays, anniversaries. Although, this year is different ~ I don't have a brain surgery scheduled for December this year. I think I am going to achieve my goal this year to stay out of all operating rooms in 2009!
Even with the stress that comes with school starting up again, I feel like an enormous load has been lifted off my shoulders. I passed my Microsoft SQL Server 2005 exam a couple of weeks ago so now I have tons of brain cells freed up for mindless movie/TV trivia! I am looking forward to the season premieres in the upcoming weeks: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Fringe, Castle, Brothers and Sisters, Medium, The Office, Flash Forward, Heroes, Biggest Looser... time to make room on the DVR.
I hope to blog more this month ~ there's lots to say, just not feeling inspired at the present moment. There's lots to say about my brain tail ~ still putting up a good fight in my head, stay tuned for more details on that soon. I am sure the blog drought will end soon. In the spirit of story telling, please leave me a comment to request a blog subject you'd like me to write about.
Oh yeah ~ and one more thing ~ don't forget to breathe ~
I have been remiss in blogging about my post-op TCI followup appointment I had back in May. Here's my latest Brain Tail photo ~ wow ~ they really did do something to my brain during my 7+ hour brain surgery! You can compare this one with the one on the side bar ~ notice all the extra room in there!
With that said, here's what the good docs at TCI had to say with the progress I have made since my decompression. First off, I am healing quite well and although not up to full strength yet, I am getting there faster than most patients. Also, most of my symptoms are completely gone except for the low barometric pressure headaches, which I am learning to deal with.
Now for the not so good news ~ I guess when you are facing brain surgery, the docs only focus on the task at hand instead of overwhelming you with your bleak lifetime outcome. Sigh ~ So, now that brain surgery is out of the way, I was told that I have degenerative disk disease and stenosis. Translation ~ I will probably be dealing with chronic pain in my body for the rest of my life. Sounds pretty bleak, but I am fighting this with every ounce of strength in my body.
I guess EDS is showing how destructive she can be ~ Honestly, I am so thankful to be alive, to have survived brain surgery, that everything else that may be just around the corner is cake. So I am focusing on increasing my bone density, working out and getting stronger. The bigger picture of living with CHIARI is coming into focus ~ it's a lifetime battle, but thank goodness I am not at risk of having a stroke or paralysis any more. All you brain tails out there ~ the sisterhood/brotherhood of the traveling brain tails make traveling on this crazy journey so much sweeter.
Fire is such a primal energy source and yet I still would fail miserably at being a pyromaniac. Seriously, I have so much trouble lighting a fire in the fireplace. I can get the fire lit, but it fails to meet my expectations ~ how silly is that?! I want to see a blazing fiery furnace, but a good fire takes patience and time. Just because there aren't leaping flames doesn't mean that heat isn't being generated. I know, this is all so elemental, but it made me ponder a bit on this snowy, icy night. Just for the record, no, I have not fallen off the wagon and started using morphine again!
Fire makes me think of one of my favorite Bible stories, The Fiery Furnace. The bulk of the story is about three men (Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) who would not bow down and worship a golden statue so the king ordered them to be thrown into a fiery furnace to die. They claimed that God would spare them from death. The fire was so hot that it killed the men who threw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into the furnace. The king was awestruck when he saw FOUR men walking around in the furnace. Perhaps an angel was sent to protect them from death. When the men were ordered out of the fire, not a hair on their head was singed.
I've rambled on again ~ surprised? But really, I learned something from brother FIRE today, even if there aren't raging flames, energy is still being created. It mirrors my life right now ~ my steady recovery. I might want an intense flame, but in reality I have red coals, providing a steady flow of heat. It's so painfully hard to pace myself in this recovery process. I don't feel pain until I have waaaay overdone it. I keep having to remind myself that this is going to be a slow process. Thank you FIRE for subtly reminding me and teaching me to be more like the slow burning coals.
How could a month passed by so quickly ~ one breath at a time. It's been a month since my brain lift ~ I survived Christmas and New Years Eve. I really don't have any complaints. My recovery is moving along at warp speeds. According to my husband, AKA Warden Bubba, I need to park it and slow down a bit. In theory, that's good advice, but he is out of the house 40 hours a week at work and I no longer require any caretakers ~ you connect the dots. I started physical therapy and am doing quite well. It's such a humbling experience to pick up three pound free weights and do bicep curls when I used to curl 10-15 lbs before the brain tail hurled me down a dark and twisted path. The hand bike was the most challenging exercise I did today at PT. My session finished up with the balance board ~ man was that fun! Having vertigo was one of my chief complaints prior to surgery and I thought I might never feel balanced again. I have been working on the balance activities on the Wii Fit and I have already seen some improvement.
Baby steps ~ one day at a time ~ slowly I will get my full strength back again. For a year before brain surgery I was growing my hair out so that I would have an adequate comb-over and today I had my hair cut. My hair stylist was so gentle and made extra care not to rake the comb over my zipper scar. She cut off about 2 inches and evened everything up a bit. We decided to wait until the spring before jumping into a new style. She commented that I had so many hospital chemicals all throughout my hair still ~ it will take several more weeks for the morphine and anesthesia to make it's way out of my system.
There's a nor'easter headed our way tonight ~ snow and ice expected overnight and throughout the day tomorrow. Planning on chilling on the couch and relaxing all day long ~ hey ~ maybe I will even dive into studying again for my SQL exam ~
I am learning to find joy in the little things ~ anything to shed light on this narrow dark path. Reconnecting with friends on Facebook has brought me more joy that you can possibly imagine. So ~ what do you say to a friend when you are reconnecting after 20+ years? How do you sum up all those years since high school, since camp, since college?
It's a fine line ~ the boundaries between the safe answers and the raw, ugly truth are fuzzy. I am a straight shooter, maybe it's the Texas blood that pulsates through my veins. It's incredibly hard for me to BS my way through a conversation without mentioning the only thing on my mind, "Hey ~ did I tell you that I am having brain surgery in a couple of weeks?" There is no smooth transition. I find myself not sharing with some, because I know that they won't know what to say in return ~ what do you say? But seriously, it's still me ~ just because my brain is sliding out of my head doesn't define me completely. Although, it has put a damper on my bubbly personality.
Therein is the beauty of friendship ~ those who really know me offer prayers, support, a shoulder to lean on. Friends share life's joys, disappointments, sorrows ~ that's the glue that binds you. Life is messy ~ TRUE STORY ~ no matter what you are going through, no matter how dark and scary, know that if we are friends I will be there for you, no matter what might come strolling down your path. Don't be afraid to share your life, let someone join you in your journey. It makes life more bearable to have a friend walking by your side.
It's times like this where I can't find the words to express what I am feeling ~ it's been just all too overwhelming this week. But then I hear a song on the radio and the lyrics seem to speak for me to interpret what's going on in my heart. Something I am learning is that the more things seem to unravel in my life the message that God is sending me becomes clearer. HE continues to provide, continues to sustain me, holds me up, lifts my spirits. I am in awe ~ speechless.
Sufficient - Adie Camp
Hear my heart Lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer Lord and carry me through
In your mercy in the promise you made
Be my strength Lord when my strength fades away
Cause when I am weak your strength is complete
It's perfect
Completely all I need
Sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
Completely all I need
You're all that I need
In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Through the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening When I call out your name
I'll find you when I seek I'll look for you with all of my heart
Today is my 14th wedding anniversary ~ seems like only yesterday ~ I still remember the day this picture was taken back in 1992. I recall thinking how in the world did I find this amazing man in Lubbock, TX of all places. Some say that a picture is better than a thousand words ~ if it weren't for the incredible brain fog I am having today I would ramble on about something quite sappy ~ There are so many things I would like to say but the words just aren't finding their way on here.
My brain tail has totally stolen my muse again and replaced it with a swirling, vertigo brain. This slogan ~ I can't brain today, I have the dumb ~ is perfect since I walk around daily in a thick brain fog ~ but the sad thing is, I often scramble the words and it comes out ~ I can't dumb today I have the brain!
I am counting down the days til I go in for surgery! Trying to keep myself busy with life ~ taking it one day at a time and trying to remember what day it is ~ what planet I am on. The girls have their cheerleading competition this weekend ~ a fun filled day of loud cheerleaders and blaring music ~ ooo ooo ~ can't wait. Seriously, I do enjoy watching them perform but could really do without all the activity surrounding the event.
Several weeks have passed since I drove three hours to watch I WANT TO BELIEVE with my sweet, uber X-Files nerdling friend, Erica. She posted her review of the movie last week ~ brillance, I tell you ~ I can't even aspire to match her post ~ so if you care to read it ~ click on this link. I had expectations of this highly anticipated movie, but I knew that no matter what I would absolutely love the big screen reunion of Mulder and Scully.
I became an X-Files believer quite by accident. It was a Sunday night, we had invited some college friends over for dinner. They had great concern about what time exactly we were eating dinner ~ a hidden agenda was highly suspect. After a little prodding we found out that the X-Files season 3 finale was on TV that night. At the time we had never watched the show. After our friends shared their enthusiasm for the X-Files we agreed to eat dinner early so that we could fully devote our undivided attention to the finale episode together. Needless to say, we were hooked with just one introduction to Mulder and Scully.
I remember going through XF withdrawals for a long time after the show ended. I missed the Mulder and Scully weekly banter, quirky Mulderisms, their incredibly deep soul connection with one another. The government conspiracies, UFO and alien chasing plots were entertaining, but the ones that most spoke to me were the plots where Mulder and Scully were searching their hearts for the truths in life. Journeying to those dark places to bring forth light.
The movie had a lot of great shout outs to the fans ~ pencils stuck in the ceiling, sunflower seeds, Scully's cross necklace and many more. I loved the fact that Mulder and Scully didn't have everything figured out yet ~ we found them still struggling with the truths, but doing it together.
This quote from the movie is what it's all about ~
What an incredible truth that is ~ there will always be the darkness, but it's our mission to shine the light. I think that Mulder is drawn to the dark places, because in the inkiness of night his light shines brighter ~ it brings his life force to life! Another famous quote comes to mind when I think of lighting up the darkness ~
Galadriel: I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.
On a lighter note, the Skin-Man cameo was awesome ~ if only the Lone Gunman could have made an appearance ~ maybe in the next one! So for now, I will patiently wait for the movie to come out on DVD so I can watch the movie again and again.
5:45am ~ I roll out of bed ~ stumble into the bathroom to get dressed. The circles under my eyes remind me that I tossed and turned all night ~ note to self ~ need more sleep. I can pretty much guarantee that sleep will evade me tonight, too ~ you see, the LOST finale is on tonight. My brain tail will be sorting out all the possible theories all night long. I blame J.J. Abrams for coming up with all of these twisted sci-fi shows that make you waaaaay over analyze the show. And ~ as if not enough brain cells are already dedicated to sorting out the plots of HEROs and LOST, now I have FRINGE to look forward to in the fall ~ I can already feel the pull of the vortex sucking me into another sci-fi drama!
By 6:15am I was in my hover craft ~ which BTW averaged at 50 MILES to the GALLON over the weekend ~ backing out of the garage. I am navigating down the driveway ~ using my side mirrors to prevent me from hitting the Jeep parked on the other side of the driveway. Then ~ I see something totally unexpected reflected in the mirror ~ a cute lil bunny crossing the driveway to the safety of the front yard foliage. Later ~ as I am driving on the feeder road to the freeway I see a beautiful hawk perched high on a utility pole, the perfect vantage point to spot road kill. So how do these two unexpected sightings tie into one another. What message were they sending to me today ~ a day where I already feel completely spent and it's not even 7:30am yet!
Referencing my Native American animal totem document ~ these are what the animals represent:
Hawk: All-seeing, observation, truth, awareness, perceptiveness, representative of primal life force
I awoke from an intense dream this morning. In my dream a good friend of mine was really upset and crying ~ she told me that someone very dear to her had passed away. When I woke up my heart was heavy and I was planning on e-mailing my friend as soon as I had a cup of coffee to make sure that she was OK. To my surprise, she beat me to the punch ~ there was an e-mail from her already in my inbox! Sadly, she was e-mailing me from a funeral of a good friend. JTM ~ sending you a big hug across the miles!
You might have read in earlier posts that I have a hard time getting to sleep. It's hard to turn my brain off ~ I believe that my brain tail is to blame most of the time. I have learned to follow up on dreams that pull at my heartstrings. As demonstrated this morning, there's a reason why people show up in my dreams. No wonder I am so exhausted in the morning! I have a theory that other people with Chiari malformations are also ultra sensitive to other's emotions ~ no matter how far away they might be. I know that no one in the medical community would verify this, but I have come to know that the brain tail isn't all that bad!
What a beautiful day it was today! While I was walking along the river I saw signs of life everywhere ~ munks (chipmunks), caterpillars, baby robins, geese, ducks ~ and some of the trees were beginning to bud, too! Much to my surprise, I have sun kissed shoulders to prove that I spent more than an hour under the blue skies and brilliant sun this afternoon.
I was checking out the site meter on my blog and was amazed how many hits I got last night after the re-airing of the Extreme Makeover about the Carter Family. I usually get about 40 visitors on the site a day and just in the three hours after the show aired I got 150 hits. Today so far I have about 111 hits. I am beyond thrilled that education about Chiari Malformations is getting out there ~ being educated about the disease is half the battle. Even though I don't agonize and blog daily about the pains of having a brain tail I am always thinking of those of you out there that also have Chiari. Remember, I still have my brain tail, but it's just not beating up on me as bad as before the detethering.
The calendar reads ~ April 1, 2008 ~ clearly mother nature is trying to fool me into thinking that springtime has officially arrived. The weather forecast today in the paper read ~ high of 63 degrees ~ so I gleefully put on some shorts and a short sleeve shirt, tied my sneakers, and threw on an anorak just for good measure. I headed down to the trail by the river and set out on a long walk.
The air was thick with humidity, there was a stiff breeze blowing off the river, my legs felt strong and my gait was quick. So this is what it feels like to feel 'alive'! It's been so long since I have felt this way ~ I finally feel like I am coming back to life. Chiari had really pulled me down to the deep dark pit and I didn't think I would ever be returning to the land of the living. But ~ here I am ~ living, breathing, pain free except for an occasional low pressure headache. Time heals all wounds ~ I am living proof. So for today ~ I am incredibly encouraged and hopeful.
A friend of mine sent me this poem/movie yesterday and I just had to share and pass it along! The Dash expresses the simple truths of our purpose here on earth.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year- olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't' be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will Look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
Tex Robertson 1909-2007 ~ passed away yesterday. I just got word of his passing late this afternoon. I am awestruck by the outpouring of love to Tex and his family that he has left behind. The man has touched millions of lives and made them smile. I am thankful that his passing happened after all of the camp terms were complete ~ what a blessing. There is a memorial service for Tex being held at Camp Longhorn this Saturday afternoon ~ if I didn't live so far away I would be there in a heartbeat. The gathering will be of thousands ~ I am sure ~ for just the population of campers, counselors and alumni alone could fill up Inks Lake Camp.
I posted earlier in the year a post about Camp Longhorn ~ without camp I would be a completely different person ~ seriously. Tex Robertson set the tone for camp more than 65 years ago (1939)~ celebrate life ~ today is a great day and I feel great! ~ life is punny ~ a positive attitude is contagious ~ friends made at camp are friends for life ~ make the best of every situation life throws you ~ Camp Longhorn is a timeless place ~ a place where everybody is somebody ~ a place I call home.
Tex has given so much of himself to the campers and counselors at CLH ~ he knew each and every one of us by name. I will remember him forever ~ especially the time he came to campfire as Dr. Schwartz ~ he drove the station wagon right into the campfire stage ~ then proceeded to get bitten several times by the snakes he was handling ~ he was bleeding all over the place but didn't even notice because he was having so much fun. Tex, may your joy and zeal for life carry on in those whose lives you touched. We will miss you ~
Associated Press quoted Governor Rick Perry as saying: "Tex Robertson was a Texas original whose personal integrity and commitment to children touched countless lives. His legacy will live on in the hearts of thousands of campers and counsellors who were forever impacted by their time at Camp Longhorn."
"... making friends for the world to see...if your friends are there everything is all right.."
