Peter/Olivia

What would life be like without your presence in the lives of others? The fourth season of FRINGE is centered around a world without Peter Bishop ~ I get it, this is part of the bigger story ~ but that doesn't mean I like it one little bit!

Actually, I've thought a lot about this theme ever since I was diagnosed with Chiari ~ what would life be like without me on this earth anymore? The concept is a hard one to embrace too closely without letting it consume me whole. I have a questions for other Chiarians and other assorted brain surgery survivors.

How did you cope with the overwhelming feeling that you just might not make it back from brain surgery?

 I used to think that I was really good at coping, pushing through very difficult times, but now I'm not so sure. The physical scars, although healed up nicely, will always remain on my skin as constant reminders of the battles I have survived. Now, almost three years post brain surgery, the emotional scars are bubbling up to the surface. Sure, I survived, I'm living, breathing, carrying on at the thing we called life...but at what cost?

I'm not the same person today that I was prior to my Chiari diagnosis. On that profound day,
September 26, 2006, I think I built an instant fortress around myself ~ guarding my emotions, protecting my heart.  I think a big part of me wants to walk away from everything prior to surgery and start a new.

The surgeons prepared me for the physical pain I would endure, the long recovery road, but they didn't prepare me for a total fall out of who I am and who I am becoming. This is probably totally gibberish to most readers out there, but I have a feeling a bunch of you know exactly what I am talking about.

The World Is Changing

I woke up this morning with a palpable feeling of sorrow. The heaviness has completely enveloped me ~ I feel as if I am wading through warm quicksand. 9/11/01 brought catastrophic loss to many families ~ their profound grief is felt around the world as we all remember those who lost their lives 7 years ago tomorrow. I pray that as time passes the grief is replaced with a renewed hope in those who were left behind. Love heals all.

Galadriel: The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

http://www.stobiepiel.com/midis/world.wav

Profound Loss

I think I am still is shock over the sudden loss of Tim Russert. The picture above is a picture of his son, Luke, visiting the MEET THE PRESS studio after his death. There is a wonderful video that celebrates Tim Russert's life ~ click on this link for a good article and video.

Tim ~ you be greatly missed! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25186698/

Steve and Me

I just read Steve and Me by Terri Irwin. You can click on this link and read an excerpt. Reading about their love story and their life together was neat. Steve received all kinds of negative media and I believe that he was greatly misunderstood.

While I was reading about all the stories I could visually see them as I remembered episodes of the Crocodile Hunter. What an amazing, passionate man who did amazing things to educate people about wildlife preservation. When I got to the point in the book where Terri received news of his death I felt sad all over again like he had just passed away.

Now that Steve has passed along his family continues to be wildlife warriors. There is still so much going on at the Australia Zoo ~ Steve's exuberance lives on in those who loved him.