Meant to Be

I've strayed way of course lately ~ seemingly drowning in a vortex of the unknown ~ and then I heard the lyrics to this song ~ a quiet, strong reminder that I am meant to be here on this earth ~ sharing my gifts ~ I am part of  greater plan. I hope this song speaks to you, too.



Long Before You Drew Your First Breath 
A Dream Was Coming True 

God Wanted to Give A Gift To The World 
So He Wrapped It Up In You 

Every Step That You've Taken 
Every Move That You Make 
Is Part Of His Plan 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be 
You Were Meant To Be 

Long Before You Took Your First Fall 
You stumbled to the ground 
God started telling the story of you to the angles around 
Every failure and victory 
Everything inbetween 
Its all in his hand 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
SOURCE: LYBIO.NET 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
Meant To Be 
You are 
You are 
You are meant to be 
You are 
You are 
You are meant to be 

For every breath that your taking 
And every move that you make 
It's a meaningful life you've been given 
Live it well 

You Were Meant To Be Touching 
The Lives That You Touch 
And Meant To Be Here 
Making This World So Much More 
Than It Would Be Without You In It 

You Were Meant To Be Bringing 
The Gifts That You Bring 
And Singing The Songs 
You've Been Given To Sing 

You Are Perfectly, Wonderfully, 
Beautifully Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be (yeah) 
You Were Meant To Be 
To Be 
You Were Meant To Be

To Know You ~

It's been one of those weeks ~ a weeks filled with exhaustion, headaches and vertigo. But wait, don't forget the day I was a breath way from becoming a splat on the pavement on the freeway. It's been a while since I have felt the hand of God surround me and move me silently away from danger. Message received ~ it's still not my time ~ I have work to do here.

I am digging deep and trying to remember how far I have come ~ to not brush off or minimize all that I have survived so that I can focus on encouraging those who live with trepidation.



CASTING CROWNS - To Know You

To know you is never worry for my life, and
To know you is to never to give in or compromise
To know you is to want to tell the world about you
Cause I can't live without you

To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted
Cause they can't live with out you.

More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more

To know you is to ache for more than ordinary
To know you is to look beyond the temporary
To know you is believing that you will be enough
Cause there is no life without you

More than my next breath
More than life or death
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more

All this life could offer me, could not compare to you
Compare to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you

More than my next breath
More than life or death
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more

Compared to you
Compared to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you

Life Is So Much More Than What Your Eyes Are Seeing

I believe Christmas is a time for miracles, love and unexplainable happiness. If this is true, how come I hear stories of hearts breaking, hopes dashed, fears realized? Pain and despair are all around us ~ if not directly going on in our lives, chances are that we have a friend or family member who is in the fight of their life.

I know that I alone can't take away any of these trials, as much as I would love to wash it all away. But there's always hope ~ I encourage anyone reading this post to share the message of hope ~ of faith ~ What can faith do in your life?

WHAT FAITH CAN DO ~ KUTLESS
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

I Can Only Imagine

Blogging has been a way for me to express what I cannot vocalize and I am trying to get back in the swing of things by blogging more. As my one year post decompression date is beginning to appear just over the horizon I seem to be doing a lot of reflecting. There were a lot of blogs that I started and they ended up in my draft box. This one I actually started on 10/12/07 ~ I thought today would be a good day finally post it.

Facing fear ~ staring it in the face ~ thoughts of death and dying have come up for me, for obvious reasons. But you see, to die would be devastating for my family and friends, but for me, I can only imagine.

When I wrote my thoughts about staring death in the face, I hadn't even been detethered yet ~ but I was processing the imminent fear that comes when facing brain surgery. I look back and smile knowing that putting it all out there, expressing my fear, laying it all down for the Lord to take it from me ~ my fear was totally dissolved by the time I had surgery.



WE all face fear on a daily basis ~ rather it's a fear of spiders or death ~ we all deal with it in different ways. For me, fixing my eyes on eternity put everything in perspective and it's a good reminder for me today. I woke up with a brain tail headache ~ it's the 13th and a Friday today ~ not that I am superstitious, but I am not firing on all cylinders today. Note to self ~ no operating heavy machinery today!

The Words I Would Say

What would I say? Be strong in the Lord ~ Never give up faith ~ You are going to do great things ~ God's got his hand on you so don't live your life in fear ~ Come find peace in the Father

My heart feels the pain and the weight of the world. This blog had brought me so many brain tail friends, all in different parts of their Chiari journey. It's so easy to be completely consumed by pain and fear ~ I wanted to share this song with you ~ in hopes that it gives you hope where you haven't found any.

You're Not Shaken

It's so easy to get through to the other side of the valley of the shadow of death 

and never look back.  I would love to just completely  erase 2008 from my mind, but then again, that was a HUGE part of my life journey. With each passing day I am in awe at my recovery ~ serious miracles have settled upon me. Look how far I have come in such a short time. 

As challenging as it was to endure brain surgery, I want to remember how lost, alone, afraid I felt at the time so I can empathize with other brain tails going through the same journey. Chiari will continue to rock my world ~ I will take all of it ~ the good and the bad. These lyrics really spoke to me when I heard them the first time ~ touched a memory from last year. The indescribable instinct of holding on and lifting my eyes towards the Lord, even when I didn't understand why me ~ brain surgery ~ how can this possibly be happening. To look back and see that strength that comes from trusting the Lord ~ as weak as I was in body ~ still not shaken. I hope these lyrics bring strength to some of you going through a similar journey. Hang in there! 

Phil Stacey - You're Not Shaken

From the album Into The Light

I am sinking in a river that is raging 

I am drowning, will I ever rise to breathe again 

I want to know why I just want to understand 

Will I ever know why 

How could this be from Your hand 

When every little thing that I have dreamed would be 

Just slips away like water through my hand 

And when it seems the walls of my belief are crashing down 

Like they're all made of sand 

I won't let go of You now, because I know You're not shaken 

I'm trembling in the darkness of my own fear 

All the questions with no answers still grip me while 

I'm here And I may never know why I may not understand 

But I will lift up my eyes And trust this is Your plan 

When I am in the valley of the shadow of death 

You're not shaken, You're not shaken 

You're right here beside me and 

You have never left 

You're not shaken, You're not shaken

10,000 Miles

What is it about this song that is so mournful and bittersweet ~ this melody expresses my mood today as I remember my brother, Trey's, birthday. Sneaks up on me every year. You know, I don't actually even recall one memory of one of Trey's birthdays ~ but I do vividly remember the way it felt when he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me like he was never going to let go. So many years have passed since his passing and yet it still feels like he's just gone for a while ~ I know we will be together again, one day.

Our Hope Endures

I have been absent in the blogger world and wanted to touch base and let your know what's going on in my little corner of the world. I celebrated my 1 year anniversary since my spinal de-tethering surgery yesterday. Hooray ~ today I went back to work ~ that 2 month 'spa' vacation really flew by fast! I am finding that getting back into the swing of things is like getting to know the characters on LOST again after they have been on a long sabbatical.

People keep asking me how I feel in comparison to before the surgery. It's a tough question to answer, because I felt so bad for at least three years prior to surgery. Now ~ I truly feel like I have been given a fresh start at life ~ I feel more alive than I have for a very long time. Yes, I have rock star neurosurgeons, they did an outstanding job restoring my brain and I owe them my life. However, I know that my faith in God's healing hands and my positive spirit have healed me from the inside out.

I wanted to share some beautiful lyrics I heard last week that continue to haunt my thoughts. I so identify with the lyrics I posted below and the emotions they bring up to the surface. There are so many Chiarians out there who can identify with the constant struggle with chronic pain ~ there seems to be no end to the struggling & the pain, but our hope endures. As for me and my journey, something I am getting more and more comfortable with is taking steps in faith. I know that no matter what comes my way I will have enough hope to endure.

"Our Hope Endures" ~ Natalie Grant

You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?

Or joy at a good man's wake?

Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked

With illness, oh how can she laugh?

Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me

I have found it particularly difficult to get into the Christmas spirit this year. All things considered, it's only been three weeks today since I became a zipperhead! This morning when I arose, it dawned on me ~ what is the real spirit of Christmas? The answer is painfully clear ~ the birth of the Lord's only Son ~ JESUS. Personally, I know if it were not for my faith and belief in Jesus I probably wouldn't be sitting here blogging today. Faith and prayers continue to heal me from the inside ~ out. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. May you have a renewing of strength and hope this Christmas season.

Psalm 139 New International Version (NIV)

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

By Your Side ~ Tenth Avenue North

The Christmas season is filled with every emotion imaginable. For some, it is a time of sheer joy and happiness ~ for others time of deep sorrow and despair. The song I posted above is a gentle reminder of the true meaning of Christmas. God sent His only beloved son to earth to die and rise from the grave so that we can live with Him in heaven some day.

If you are feeling a bit down and depressed during the holiday season, I pray that you find renewed hope in life. Know that you are never alone. Take a moment to listen to the song I posted above ~

Hope and Perseverance

Since my muse seems to have high tailed it out of Dodge I am taking a stab at reviving a blog that I started a few months ago. Huh ~ in looking at the date that I created this blog posting it was 2/4/08. Doing the math in my head ~ I was in the hospital ~ probably still hooked up to a morphine pump when I found this picture to the left and thought that I might want to write about HOPE sometime in the near future.

I seem to be up to my eyeballs in HOPE right now ~

I hope I can deal with the vertigo until December 3rd.

I hope and pray that I don't have to have a fusion along with the decompression.

I hope I don't lose my mind waiting for brain surgery.

I hope I don't lose my personality.

I hope people don't treat me differently after I have my brain tail hovel renovated.

You get the picture ~ a whole lot of hoping ~ But what exactly does HOPE mean? Many things come to mind...


First ~ this is a shocker, I hear lyrics singing in my head:

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder You get your fill to eat But
always keep that hunger May you never take one single breath for granted God
forbid love ever leave you empty handed I hope you still feel small When you
stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me
you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or
dance I hope you dance I hope you dance " ~ Lee Ann Womack

"I hope, for more love, more joy and laughter. I hope, we'll have more than
we'll ever need. I hope, we'll have more happy ever after. I hope, we can
all live more fearlessly. And we can lose all the pain and misery. I hope, I
hope" ~ The Dixie Chicks

Pippin: Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam?

Gandalf: There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope.



For me ~ there's always hope ~ as long as I am breathing ~ there's hope. Just when I think I can't possibly hold on a second longer I realize that God is holding onto me and won't let me fall.

Just like the Casting Crowns lyrics "I'm not holding onto you ~ you are holding onto me." (I posted the song below). So with that said, I hope that some of my hope will spill over to some of you out there. Wherever you are in your journey ~ may you find hope in places where you thought all hope was lost.

Psalm 25:5 (Whole Chapter) Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.

The Call

Ever since I saw Prince Caspian this song ~ The Call ~ has been playing in my mind ~ so wistful ~ hopeful ~

The Call ~ by Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope

Which then turned into a quiet thought

Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder

Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back

When you call me

No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon

And follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

But just because they can't feel it too

t mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say goodbye

I'm Giving In To Something Heavenly

The lyrics to this song seem to sum up everything I am going through right now ~ giving in to something heavenly ~ something bigger than myself ~ something bigger than me.

Sanctus Real - Whatever You’re Doing

It’s time for healing, time to move on,

it’s time to fix what’s been broken too long

Time to make right what has been wrong;

it’s time to find my way to where I belong

Chorus:

There’s a wave that’s crashing over me, and all I can do is surrender

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace

And it’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see,

but I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone, time to begin again, re-evaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?

So show me what it is You want from me I give everything – I surrender

Chorus:

Time to face up, clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out that I’ve wanted to say for so many years

Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but I believe …

You’re up to something bigger than me

Larger than life, something heavenly

Whatever You’re doing inside of me

It feels like chaos, but now I can see

This is something bigger than me

Larger than life Something heavenly, something heavenly

Time to face up, clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

Shout to the Lord ~ Idol Gives Back

In a world that censors and tries to keep Jesus out of the school system ~ what an amazing victory as American Idol contestants sang Shout to the Lord on national TV this week.

Clear Path

One of the great wonders of life is that things are never as they appear ~ always in motion ~ constantly morphing into something else. The oceans are the greatest example of the never ceasing thundering motion of the waves. I have drawn great strength and comfort from a handful of songs over the past year and a half. They have been there on the radio like a loyal friend, just when I needed them ~ audibly expressing what I am feeling. Through their steadfast consistency ~ the meaning of the songs have new meaning to me. "I will go through the valley if you want me to..." Maybe it's me that is maturing in my faith ~ in my understanding of WHY I am here on this path ~ this bumpy, dark, twisted and beautiful path through the valley ~ me and my Chiari brain tail.

Ever since I was a little girl ~ that awful day that shook me to the core ~ watching my brother get kicked in the head by a horse ~ watching his spirit leave his body ~ I knew then and there that life was precious and easily taken away. In the same breath, I knew that there was no way I could carry on without drawing strength from Jesus. I also knew that God had big plans for me ~ that He wasn't through with me yet. Throughout life ~ again and again ~ I have been through many hard times ~ struggles; however, there have been a lot of wonderful and happy moments, too! All my life I have wanted to go to Africa and do mission work ~ hopefully some day I will make it there ~ but for now ~ I am here ~ on this path.

As my surgery dates have drawn closer I have had some amazing re-connections with old friends and have made some new ones. If it weren't for my brain tail I would have never met such amazing people who have been blessed with a brain too big for their head. There is no doubt in my mind that God has been present through all of this journey thus far and will continue to walk with me. For those of you who have reached out to me, know that you are all near and dear to my heart ~ kindred souls ~ we will get through this ~ and my wish for you is that you will feel an overwhelming spiritual presence through this journey ~ a peace that passes all understanding ~ a feeling in your heart that you are not alone in this journey!

If You Want Me To ~ Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley If You want me to

CHORUS: Now I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself And I can't hear
You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Somewhere in the Middle ~ AGAIN!

I blogged about this song back in August ~ and I am still somewhere in the middle. The lyrics resonate in my head over and over again. Over the past couple of days we have spent a lot of time with friends and family, celebrating the holidays. The ginormous elephant in the room (brain tail) has been brought up in conversation a lot, lately.

I don't mind talking about my surgeries that are on the horizon. Talking about my brain tail helps me mentally prepare for what lies ahead. People have often asked me if I am scared ~ the obvious emotion most people would be feeling. For most people, the thought of going to a hospital and dealing with needles and anesthesia are terrifying.

I think my primary feeling is more the feeling of being stuck in between the now and the not yet ~ wanting to surge ahead but patiently waiting for my turn. I am looking forward to ringing in 2008 tonight ~next year will be a new lease on life for me ~ the other side of brain surgery. Happy New Year blog lurkers out there and please, don't be shy, leave me a comment some time just to say 'hi' and don't forget to leave your e-mail address so I can e-mail you back!

Somewhere In The Middle ~ Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender
Cause I'm losing all control

Fearless Warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep-water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for his
Or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and the Lord
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender
Cause I'm losing all control

Fearless Warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep-water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle

Fearless Warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep-water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Lord I feel you in this place
And I know your by my side
Loving me even on these nights
When I am caught in the the middle
Caught in the middle

Dream It Anyway

God is great but sometimes life ain't good ~

I am reading a book (The Climb of My Life ~ Kelly Perkins) right now about a woman who had a heart transplant at age 35! She went from being a vibrant, athletic young woman to a patient waiting for a new heart in a blink of an eye. At some point in time while she was waiting for a new heart she looked at herself in the mirror ~ really looked at herself and when she did, she had to grab the bathroom counter to steady herself.

She hardly recognized the reflection in the mirror! The most shocking thing that she noticed was that her smile had been broken and she knew in that moment that she desperately wanted it back! Her lost smile and dreams helped fuel her forward to recovery.

Dreams are powerful and not to be taken lightly. I have to constantly remind myself of this as I wait for my new "head space".

Anyway ~ Martina McBride

You Can Spend Your Whole Life Buildin'
Somethin' From Nothin'
One Storm Can Come And Blow It All Away
Build It Anyway

You Can Chase A Dream
That Seems So Out Of Reach
And You Know It Might Not Ever Come Your Way
Dream It Anyway

[chorus]
God Id Great, But Sometimes Life Ain't Good
When I Pray It Doesn't Always Turn Out Like I Think It Should
But I Do It Anyway
I Do It Anyway

This Worlds Gone Crazy And It's Hard To Believe
That Tomorrow Will Be Better Than Today
Believe It Anyway
You Can Love Someone With All Your Heart
For All The Right Reasons
An In A Moment They Can Choose To Walk Away
Love 'em Anyway

In Better Hands

I had heard this song a month ago and had stored it away with high hopes of posting it after I got a surgery date. But you see ~ I have come to realize, in light of the fact that my last appointment didn't go as I had planned, that I have been in better hands all along. I keep looking for someone to swoop in and take care of my brain and maybe I should change my focus ~ No matter how little I may understand the path that I am on ~ it's just where I need to be ~ nothing more, nothing less.

The Carter Family was on Extreme Makeover tonight ~ I was very pleased with how they told their story. They even snuck a picture of the brilliant surgeons at the Chiari Institute. If you missed it, you can go to the full episode player on the ABC website and watch it. I loved that the design team focused on the dreams of the family members and honored their love for music. Something I have realized in battling with Chiari on a daily basis is that I have to keep focusing on my dreams or the waves that my brain tail creates will overwhelm me.

Something that Julie Carter has been able to do is to is to help people find answers about Chiari and offer emotional support. She claims that she is somewhat obsessed with Chiari ~ in this case ~ he obsession has been turned into passion. Here is her testimonial and that of her daughter, Jade . I know that ever since I found out about my brain tail I have been obsessed with finding out all the info that I can about my condition. I love research and there is so much to learn about Chiari ~ the possibilities are endless. With that being said, I have a site meter on my blog ~ I installed it in July of this year ~ and I have been floored by the number of people reading my blog ~ Seriously ~ I probably only actually know a handful of you. I never imagined that people on the other side of the world would read about my life.

So ~ to my readers out there in the universe ~ I pray that you are finding some answers by reading about my Chiari journey and hopefully finding some inspiration ~ some thread of hope. Only a few of you have left comments on my blog ~ please don't be shy ~ I would love to hear from some more of you.

In Better Hands - Natalie Grant

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You cant love if you don't love yourself

There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong all because of you
I stand in awe of every mountain that you move
Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on

There's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true
Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now
I'm in better hands now