Tacking

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line ~ but that's not always the path I've chosen. Tonight I've been reflecting and looking back at the path I've blazed over the past two years that's brought me to the here and now. I glance back ~ and OMG ~ what a zig zaggy path from hell I've taken. To the untrained eye it might look like complete random chaos. More like the path a rabid squirrel on crack would take ~ but I digress.

I love the water and there's no better way to spend time on the water than on a sailboat. Since learning how to sail a Sunfish at Camp Longhorn  (Heaven on Earth) ~ the art of tacking has always made me ponder. The task of going back and forth across the lake so that you catch the wind at just the right angle is fun and challenging. Sailing takes time, you are at the mercy of the wind and your tacking skills. Spending a day on the lake is a journey not a sprint.

Stay with me, I'm getting to my point...

I guess what I am trying to say is that all the detours and the seemingly unnecessary pit stops along the way in the my life are making sense now. Of course I had to zig-zag my way through the rough waters. There was no other way.

Each destination had a profound purpose, even if I couldn't see it or understand why at the time. Now the picture is becoming more clear and I can see how the parts fit together to make me more complete.

My words of encouragement to you are to hang in there when you feel frustration with how slow your journey is going. There's a whole lot of LIFE between knowing where you want to go and the journey that takes you there.

Keep Looking Up

If you've been following my blog over the past 4 years, you know that I am a firm believer in signs. They can lead me in an unexpected direction, present clarity, be uplifting or just make me laugh until I cry.  I've been confiding lately in a wise friend of mine who has given me great counsel. Most recently, at the end of an encouraging email, a very simple yet profound message was conveyed ~

KEEP LOOKING UP

This wasn't a suggestion, but more of a wake up call ~ I've been looking down way too much lately and really can't remember the last time I lifted my head to the heavens and looked up. As a Chiarian, looking up isn't something we do much, because it physically hurts to look up and can cause a wicked case of vertigo. But I digress ~ God commands us to put our trust in HIM, search for that guiding light that shows us the way to go when we have lost our way.

Three times in two days I lifted my head to the skies after a torrential downpour and saw double rainbows. I was even able to capture them on my iPhone. The photo above was taken last night at the football field before the game. The rainbow is a promise that God will never flood the earth again ~ and HE always keeps his promises. But seriously, three times in two days? How many double rainbows have you seen in your lifetime. I've seen a couple but never been able to capture them on film to share with others.

The rainbow sightings have been humbling ~ giving me new perspective and hope. May you been blessed with the sighting of a double rainbow, too.

First Encounter Sunset

For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

I took this picture a couple of years ago while on the First Encounter beach at sunset ~ I am in awe of the sunsets that our creator paints for us! What a gentle reminder to keep making plans for the future ~ as long as I am breathing and still on this planet I know that He has plans for me ~

What A Package Deal: Faith, Hope, Wisdom and Courage ~

A month ago, I had a bucket full of iris bulbs in my garage that have traveled all the way from Texas to New York. The story behind the traveling bulbs is that they were originally dug up out of the ground at a family property in the Texas Hill Country back in the early 1970s. Since then they have been planted ~ dug up ~ stored ~ transplanted ~ and so the cycle repeats over and over again with each move. So here we are in 2009 and I just put the bulbs in the ground. They have been sitting in our garage for almost THREE years ~ since we moved I just haven't gotten around to transplanting them ~ and finally I can check them off my list.

I always thought that the spring time wasn't the greatest time to put bulbs in the ground, but I knew if I waited much longer, I would blink and another year would have flown by. I also was not expecting any blooms this year as I thought the blooms had to sit in the ground a year before producing blooms ~ guess I was wrong! You can imagine my surprise when I noticed just the other day that we have a couple of deep purple blooms peeking out ~ just waiting to burst forth with breathtaking blooms.

Since nature always seems to be speaking to me I looked up the meaning of the Iris flower and was reassured that certainly their symbolism speaks louder than words. The iris is associated with faith, hope, wisdom and courage. I'll take two helpings of that!

Our Lil Maple Tree

Last year we adopted a pair of maple trees ~ or maybe I should say that they were the targets of a rescue mission operation. They were living in a vastly overpopulated grove of trees and by transplanting them to our yard we gave them a second chance at starting over again with a longer life expectancy. Needless to say I have been watching the trees closely to see if they would survive their first NY winter without the protection of other larger trees around them. 

Letting mother nature take it's course has been difficult for me. I kept wanting to cover up the trees to shelter them from the harsh winter ice and snow storms. With each passing winter day I kept preparing myself to see one or both of the sappling broken in two or uprooted ~ but thankfully this never happened. Now that spring is here I waited with great expectation to see which tree would grow leaves first. 

One of the trees I am more attached to ~ you see ~ this particular tree is about a foot shorter than the other one. Maybe she's the runt of the forest. Regardless of her size, she sprouted leaves before the taller, healthier looking tree! She's a fighter for sure and this has reminded me that just because the outside might look smaller it doesn't indicate that everything is going according to plan on the inside ~ sigh ~ Do you hear a parable coming????

Working out in the backyard this weekend I was reminded that weeds grow like crazy as soon as the weather is warmer and they will completely destroy any healthy plants in their path. I spent about two hours on my hands and knees uprooting dandelions. I was so focused on the task at hand that I forgot to put on gloves. About an hour later, the seering pain in the palm of my hand nudged me to go ahead and put on the gloves to avoid further blistering! Whenever I choose to purge something unhealthy out of my life, whatever I am removing will fight back with the power of a thousand lions. Duly noted!

So back to the parable of my favorite maple tree ~ she needs a strong, hearty name, don't you think? Perhaps Eowen ~ As I look back over my Chiari journey I have often felt a bit like the tree weathering harsh weather. No one else has been able to 'share the load' ~ shout out to Samwise Gamgee ~ This path that I have endured is mine alone and my burden to bear. Although I have many supportive friends out there ~ especially you fellow 'brain tails' ~ it's up to me to stand tall, press on and encourage others who are somewhere along the winding road on their Chiari journey. 

The absence of me in the blogging world hasn't been because my symptoms have returned. Truth be known I am feeling really great and only have an occasional pressure Chiari headache, but compared to all the symptoms I had prior to brain surgery ~ I have nothing to complain about. I still feel like I am coming out of a very long coma ~ seeing life through new eyes again ~ remembering what it feels like to feel alive again. For those of you Chiarian's out there who are paralyzed with fear with even the thought of brain surgery ~ know that from my perspective, the surgery absolutely works. My quality of life has been restored to almost 95%. There is always hope ~ dig deep and find your courage and draw strength from those of us who have gone before you.

Paradox Lake

The photo above is a view from the campsite from the camping trip this past weekend. There's nothing like spending a couple of nights in the mountains to soothe the soul. Even with the threat of isolated thunder storms in the area the weather was sunny and hot. We even had the chance to go on a hike and dip our toes in the lake.

I had high hopes of hearing some more owl serenades and was thrilled to hear two different owl calls. First I heard an Eastern Screech-Owl. You could easily mistake their call for the whinny of a tiny pony. Saturday night there was a brief Barred Owl serenade ~ their calls sound like "who cooks? who cooks for you?"

The weekend went by so fast, but I feel relaxed and rested. The campground was pretty much empty so we had the freedom to laugh and talk until the Jurassic moths were threatening to take over our campsite. Yin Metal Rooster, Yin Wood Rooster, Yin Metal Snake ~ thanks for the memories and I am looking forward to the next camping adventure. Yang Fire Tiger ~ Out

PS. Next time you play Cranium and you get this question ~ What State flies this flag? Remember that the answer is MARYLAND!!! Also ~ 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the exact same thing ~~~

"Year's Best" Meteor Shower to Peak December 13-14

I have always been fascinated with what's going on in outer space ~ maybe it was the Star Wars movies that set me on that path ~ maybe the hours I spent on the air strip at camp, straining my eyes to see shooting stars. I can't remember the last time I actually saw a meteor shower, so that means it's time to bundle up and look up into the heavens!

The Geminid meteor shower—considered by many to be the most active annual sky show—is going to be especially spectacular this year, astronomers predict.

Who can resist "especially spectacular"! Since this is the Christmas season, a most famous star comes to mind ~ the star that shone over Bethlehem the day Jesus was born. Imagine what was going on in the minds of the star gazers of the time.

They studied the heavens ~ they knew the stars ~ and all of the sudden there is this brilliant star shining in the heavens. I'll bet they were so curious that they couldn't help themselves ,but to drop all of their plans and journey to where the star shone. What an aw some sight that must have been!

Bears ~ Growing Up Grizzly

Last night I was flipping through the channels and found a kid friendly show on Animal Planet to distract my youngest one from crying ~ she had slipped and fallen on the ice on our driveway. I had seen the original Growing Up Grizzly show a while back that focused on Bart the Bear I. Bart was a very famous movie star. He acted in movies such as: Legends of the Fall, White Fang, The Bear, The Edge ~ an amazing animal!

The show that was on last night was Growing Up Grizzly 2 which focused on the three year old bears ~Little Bump and Bart II~raised by the same trainers ~ Doug and Lynne Seus. Watching the bears interact with the trainers like they are family members was amazing. I think that we have a lot to learn from bears ~ they are intelligent creatures who have a message to share with us. There was a particular moving part in the show when the trainers took the bears to an exclusive wild area and let the bears roam free while the trainers had a picnic nearby. Words just can't do the show justice ~ you just gotta watch it for yourself. I have posted some videos below that give you a taste of the magnificence of the bears.

Tree Roots

A tree with strong roots can withstand the most violent storm, but the tree can't grow roots just as the storm appears on the horizon.

~ Dali Lama

This quote was in the book that I am currently reading and it really resonated within my core. The process of growing strong roots has been a slow and sometimes painful process throughout my life. I believe that those of us who have tragic events in our life choose at that moment to stand firm and start growing roots or wither and die. "Hunker down" ~ that's Texas lingo for stand your ground and hold fast to whatever gives you strength.


Lately I have been drawing strength from my roots ~ they are keeping me anchored, grounded. They have found water in a land of draught ~ It's a good thing that I don't rely on good news from doctors and insurance companies for nourishment ~ I would have expired several months ago. Instead, I have kept myself alive by relying on scriptures ~ the undeniable truths that I am never alone in this journey. Despite the drought ~ this is where I belong ~ in this moment in my life! There has to be a greater purpose for these trials.

Jeremiah 17:8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Wisdom From A Turtle

I went on a walk/run yesterday after work ~ the air was crisp, the sun was shining, a hint of fall was in the air. I had been super dizzy and off-balance all day and expected that going on a walk would prove to be challenging. As I began my trek I noticed that my legs felt like bags of concrete, it felt like I was wading through quicksand! Getting through my workout was going to take a while.

As I was stumbling along the trail, I noticed something up ahead that looked out of place ~ right in the middle of the path. It looked like a rock, but as I got closer, I saw that the rock had a head, arms, legs and a tiny tail. I stopped and crouched down to inspect the baby turtle ~ he was cute and wasn't moving a muscle. I patted the little guy on the top of his shell and bid him Godspeed on his journey. I said a little prayer for him that he was able to safely cross the path before a cyclist came zipping down the trail. I had high hopes that I might see him again on my return trip, but he was gone.

The Native Americans believe that the turtle represents nurturing, mother energy, survival, longevity, protection, healing, patient persistence, the keeper of doors, the art of grounding and knowledge. Turtles encourage us to go with the flow ~ they teach us to enjoy the journey we are on without rushing the pace. They teach us to take things slow and be patient in attaining our goals. Turtles show us new perceptions about time and our relationship with it.

Once again ~ message received and yet such a hard message to digest! This week has crawled along at a painful pace. Waiting for a phone call from my PCP referral's office so that I know when the appointment with my newest surgeon will be. I have called them 2 times this week already and am considering calling them again today to see what's taking them so long. Ergo ~ the message of the turtle ~ go with the flow ~ see the forest. Now if I could just get a giraffe to cross my path I would be a happy camper. Symbolism wise, giraffes are all about attaining the unreachable.

Great Horned Owl Serenade

This past weekend I went camping with some friends. To some, the thought of sleeping outside in the woods, in the dark, with nothing but a tent and sleeping bag to serve as a barrier between you and night creatures can be absolutely terrifying. I, on the other hand, absolutely love the simpleness of solely relying on a campfire and a flashlight. I had a chance to quiet the clamor in my mind for a few days and listen to what messages mother nature would deliver.

The first night, the temps got down in the low 40's. After late night tales of black bears and creatures licking the outside of tents, I tried to no avail to get to sleep. My body was tired but my mind was stimulated. I wasn't scared of the dark veil that had shrouded the forest, my senses were alert and listening to all of the night creatures that were wide awake and communicating.

After the loud din of cicadas died down around 2am, I had the rare opportunity to be serenaded by great horned owls. I didn't know what kind they were until I looked them up today ~ you can listen to their calls on text links.

The owl has strong symbolism as a Native American Totem. I wasn't surprised to read about the symbolism of the Great Horned Owl, because the message that they delivered couldn't be more perfect for me and where I am in my life's journey.

The Great Horned owl is known to have clairaudience ~ the power or faculty of hearing something not present to the ear but regarded as having objective reality. They also symbolize: insight into the Shadow Self ~ timing ~ protection of the unseen ~ sister to the red tailed hawk ~ able to hear what is not spoken ~ harbinger of new cycles. Owls have excellent vision in the dark and this uncanny vision has earned the owl the reputation of being able to pierce beyond the veil that separates the physical world from the spirit world. Since they filter out light from the darkness, they remind us that both exist at the same time. The owl totem gives us greater insight into life lessons and experiences.

It is believed that the Great Horned Owl is a messenger heralding new cycles and change. They alert us that change and growth opportunities are on the way, encouraging us to step out into the light of a new day. The owls tufted feathers resembling ears make them good listeners. Music is deeply stirring to the horned owl soul and can often elicit healing experiences.

I could go on and on about how the owl serenade impacted me ~ more will be revealed in time. For now, I feel incredibly blessed to have spent time in their presence for two nights.