Just Around the Next Bend In The Road

Just as I was packing up to leave work this afternoon, I received word that I have an appointment scheduled with my fourth neurosurgeon on July 11th. I did some research on the surgeon and come to find out he was the surgeon involved in the Portco murder case. A 12 hour surgery saved Mrs. Portco's life. So ~ I am feeling relieved already that I will be in good hands.

Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy

There is something amazing about the healing powers of the sun. This weekend, I stole a couple of hours from the day and planted myself in the backyard by the pool ~ book in hand ~ cool drink nearby ~ I couldn't want for anything else in the world at that moment in time.

Summertime always summons a huge vortex of nostalgia for me. The memories come swirling in so fast and furious that they almost take my breath away. Spending my childhood in Texas, summer was all about the sun and water ~ any form of water ~ whatever it was, you must get in it or fry your body to a crisp! I still am torn between my two favorite bodies of water: oceans and rivers.

Every summer we used to rent a beach house right at the water's edge on Bolivar Island. Wild horses couldn't drag me away from the thundering motion of the waves. We would also spend many hours floating down the refreshing Guadalupe River on big inner tubes. To this day, every time I catch a whiff of cypress trees, images of the river come with it.

So ~ despite how bleak things may seem for me sometimes, I am finding slices of life that transport me above all of the muck ~ giving me a moment of pure joy.

I'd Rather Be Herding Cats

Coordinating with doctors and insurance companies is like herding cats! (make sure to click on the link and watch the short video ~ makes me laugh every time) Yesterday was a very frustrating day.

I called to get an update on my pending approval for my spinal surgeon and found out that there wasn't anything pending for me at all. SERIOUSLY!?! They had no record of the request from the PCP. So, after some tears and a moment to pull myself together, I called the PCP and relayed the latest information to them. They confirmed that they had sent the request in a week ago and told me that they would resubmit the request to the insurance company and follow up with them to make sure that they received it.

I would rather be herding cats!

A Different Point of View

The daily commute ~ we all have one ~ some travel only a couple of miles down the road ~ others drive clear across town. My commute route has been via the highways. Up until yesterday, I welcomed the 30 minute drive. It gave me time to clear my head for the day; however, since I had to deal with the nuances with driving through toll-ways, there was always a little bit of chaos involved.

Now, my perspective on the daily commute has changed from highway to a river road (looks similar to the picture). I put the windows down, breathe in the fresh summer air, hear the birds tweeting ~ you get the picture ~ it's nice and relaxing. What an unexpected gift.

Survived the Move!

We all survived the big move over the weekend. Everything went as smooth as possible. Most boxes are already unpacked and things have been put away ~ maybe not in their permanent place ~ but out of site. I have no idea where I got all of the energy I needed to get things done ~ I figure I will probably crash some time soon.

The house feels like a good fit ~ it almost feels like we are staying at a vacation house. I have always wanted a house that was big enough so that we could have lots of friends and family over ~ I want the kids to feel comfortable having their friends over to hang out ~ sleepovers ~ blizzard parties ~ pool parties ~ I think we have finally found the right place for all of these things to happen.

No new updates from the land of insurance. They are reviewing my request to have the tethered cord surgery locally ~ hey ~ is it just me or is this really silly ~ they are the ones who denied my request to have the surgery done at TCI ~ They suggested that I see a local neurosurgeon and have the procedure done here ~ and now they have to approve their own suggestion?!? Also ~ I haven't even seen a spinal surgeon yet ~ LOL!

The Big MOOOOOVE

Tomorrow is the big mooooving day ~ I'll be off the screen for a couple of days as I wade through boxes! Still waiting on approval from the insurance company to officially authorize an appointment to my newest neurosurgeon. E. is keeping her fingers crossed that my doc will look like McDreamy! Have a great weekend ~

Second Breakfasts and Third Opinions

Anyone who has seen the movie, Groundhog Day, knows what I am talking about ~ the same day keeps repeating itself over and over again! Now I am familiar with second opinions and second breakfasts

Pippin: "What about breakfast?"

Strider: "We've already had it."

Pippin: "We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?" [Strider walks away.]

Merry: "Don't think he knows about second breakfast Pip."

Pippin: "What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them doesn't he?"

Merry: "I wouldn't count on it."

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~ but a third opinion ~ a third neurosurgeon!?! Actually, this will be the FOURTH! I am quickly becoming the poster child for jumping through hoops for the insurance company.

It appears that I will soon get the very special privilege of meeting a neurosurgeon who specializes in tethered cord surgeries ~ can't wait ~ I am super excited! If there were a bright side to all of this, it would be easier to get the surgery done locally. So ~ here I am ~ doing my part ~ jumping through hoops ~ preparing my fields for rain ~ waiting with great expectation to see what miracles God will do next!

Really ~ I'm not drunk ~ my brain is just falling out of my head!

Feeling dizzy today ~ thought I would make you dizzy, too. Welcome to my world!

Just When I Thought I Knew Where l Was Going

Here we go again ~ just when I thought I knew what the game plan was ~ now I am off in another direction. Of course I wouldn't have it any other way! I find sarcasm very therapeutic ~ it's better that some other things I could do right now @#%$%^$%&...Anyhoo ~ today ~ the insurance company delivered the lovely news that they have denied my request to have TC surgery done at TCI. But wait, they have a solution ~ I could go to a local neurosurgeon and they could do the honors. Well, why didn't I think of that??? But wait, it gets better, they don't want me to see one of the two local reputable neurosurgeons that I've already seen ~ they want me to go to someone else!

Seriously ~ are they kidding??? One step forward, two steps back ~ sounds like a square dance I did back in elementary school! Does anyone else think that the insurance company is actually wasting money? OK ~ they want me to see someone else, I can do that. Explain my entire medical history again ~ sure ~ that shouldn't be a problem ~ My brain my actually fall onto the floor during the process ~ but sure ~ why not ~ this sounds like fun. I wonder if they will let me bring a camera into the appointment ~ because after all is said and done, I don't want to miss the look on the doctors face when they tell me ~ "Are you kidding me??? No way will I operate on you! You should see a Chiari specialist!"

Seriously ~ how long is all of this going to take. A couple of months to even get an appointment with another neurosurgeon ~ a couple more to schedule the surgery ~ all of this is making me feel more dizzy ~ ow ~ my head hurts even more. I have been working so hard to do everything by the book to get my surgery authorized and paid for ~ shouldn't they give me a prize or something? Seriously ~ I am not asking for them to authorize a 7 day cruise to the Bahamas ~ I am pleading, no begging, for spinal surgery ~ just authorize it already!!!

Bring on the Rain

"How can I praise you with all that I have been through? How could circumstances possibly change who I forever am in you!

You are much greater than the pain ~ bring my anything that brings you glory ~ this life will bring me pain ~ but if that what it takes to praise you ~ Jesus bring the rain."

Brilliant lyrics ~ like they were written for me in this time, this moment ~ solid words of encouragement. I am finishing up packing up the house for the move this week ~ all of our possessions reduced to piles of cardboard boxes. The walls are empty, plain ~ I go to get something and realize that it has already been neatly packed up. I am almost feeling prepared for the move ~ the calm before the storm ~ it's going to be a good move ~ but I am a little stressed out about the giant task before me. My brain tail does not take kindly to stress ~ it throws me into a sea of confusion and panic ~ I am learning how to quiet the chaos in my head ~ telling myself that it's all made up ~ I can do this ~ I am good at handling stress ~ everything will turn out OK.

I continue to have moments when I feel all hope is lost ~ how could my body be failing me more and more? I can hardly remember what it felt like to be strong and healthy. I attempted to go on a slow jog on Friday ~ my legs just wouldn't move at more than a turtles pace ~ I fear that the tethered cord is pulling me down, literally! Again, how can I hate something that is a part of me. If something is broke, fix it now, not in a month or two ~ not wait until the insurance company decides if it's ok or not to have the surgery done ~ NOW!

So ~ I press on ~ using the move as a huge distraction ~ bring on the rain ~